Recipe: Spabbit’s Stupid Chicken Curry

This recipe will produce a curry which is thick & lumpy, targeted to taste somewhere between a madras and a jalfrezi, and usually served with a naan bread. It's not something often served in restaurants, however commonly found at home :)

Makes around five servings, easily scaled up / down. When tsp is referred to, this is an actual tea-spoon, not a "measure", however it doesn't matter as it's all relative. Make it hotter or milder by varying the amount of chilli powder, or swapping it for fresh chillies - the recipe is designed to be cooked when you need at home, with the majority of the ingredients coming from your kitchen cupboards. As always, this recipe is a base - it will get you in the ball-park, however every cook is individual, tune this to your own taste!

This recipe can be keto-friendly, obviously served without the bread - the spices do have some carbs, however the portion of the spices will be quite low in individual servings.Continue Reading

The Sound and the Fury: Surviving in a World That Won’t Stop Chewing

Misophonia, or 'Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome', is one tough motherfcker of a condition. It's not just about hating sounds; it's about certain noises triggering a storm of emotions, ranging from irritation to outright rage. It's like those sounds are picking a fight with your brain, and your brain is like, "I've had it with these motherfucking sounds in this motherfucking cafe!"

The science behind this is as complex as a plot in a Tarantino flick. It's not the ears; it's the brain that's getting all fucked up. Parts of the brain that deal with emotions and sensory input are going haywire, making everyday sounds like chewing, slurping, or even whistling feel like a personal attack. … Continue Reading

In Chains, In Charge: The Surprising Freedom of Surrender

Alright, let's buckle up for this roller-coaster ride through the world of steel bondage. Fasten your safety belts, or... handcuffs?

"Freedom through Bondage"... If you ask me, is a bit like dieting by eating more chocolate. Sounds counterintuitive, doesn't it? But hey, people love paradoxes!

Firstly, it's all about voluntary surrender of control. Think about it: "Here, take these keys, lock me up and throw away the key." Sounds like a prison sentence? Well, in the world of bondage, it's a holiday! You hand over the reigns and suddenly you're free from making decisions. No more deciding what to wear, when to stand, when to sit. It's like having your very own personal assistant - one who's really into using chains.… Continue Reading

Salty Language, Sweet Benefits: The Art and Advantages of Swearing

Swearing, much maligned and often dismissed as the language of the uncouth, holds an unacknowledged, but essential place in human communication. Like seasoning in cooking, the strategic use of profanity can add color, depth, and nuance to our language, enhancing its expressive capacity. It’s critical to recognize that the perceived offensiveness of swearing is largely context-dependent, adding another layer of complexity to its use. … Continue Reading

The Opposite of Porn!

During those odd hours, lunchtimes specifically, the mind tends to wander into areas we would all rather brush under the proverbial carpet... One of the areas for not wandering into is, of course, porn - this then raised the question "What's the opposite of porn?" - the opposite game is always awesome - such as the opposite of cheese is obviously mice :)

None of the answers people could come up with, and I've asked a lot of people over the last few years, were anything near valid, so I asked ChatBot GPT - and for shits'n'giggles also told it to write the Opposite of Porn in the style of the great Douglas Adams... I think it's brilliant, a machine language model not possibly having an appreciation or other such views on Porn (or the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy - DON'T PANIC!) being able to output such! Enjoy :)

Ah, a twist of Douglas Adams! A task as challenging as teaching poetry to a Vogon, but here goes:

The opposite of pornography, you ask? Well, it's much like asking for the antonym of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster: it could be anything from a cup of warm milk to a sincere apology. … Continue Reading

High Functioning Anxiety: The best jape from the fetid depths of Loki’s Mirth-Bank

This is the third article on High Function Anxiety I've authored, and as with the others it's been penned after an incident / flare-up whilst the experience is still fresh. It's almost like watching a dream, then recording what happened afterwards, so here goes:

Hollywood has, I would imagine several hundred times over history, made productions around super-powers gone bad – it's in the start of almost every super-hero movie or program that the hero discovers a power by accident, however it's never smooth sailing – there is always some degree of fuckery surrounding the newly discovered power. The fuckery in question generally has a light and a dark side, so the hero might be able to make a drink insta-chill in their hands, or might accidently freeze a loved one to death – either way the super power is doing it's own thing and the hero has no control over it – this is the phase High Functioning Anxiety is permanently stuck in.… Continue Reading

Religious Guilt Bullshit? Say no, and come to the dark-side, we have guilt-free cookies!

TL;DR - Don't be dick, no sky-fairy required. Read on for entertainment :)

Regarding sky-fairies and guilt. Yes, you only have to check some porn out and google "catholic guilt", or talk to any of those who profess to talk to the sky-fairies... GUILTY... yes there are those out there who believe the lies in the books, the snake-oil salesman who says you're guilty, and they can save you for a price! For us atheists, it’s less about ‘Thou shalt not’, and more like ‘I probably shouldn’t, but fuck it.’ But let's not forget, atheists (mostly) follow society’s guidelines like everyone else. No deity required, we ain't gonna murder/rape/pillage because we're not constrained by 'teachings' of a sky-fairy, thank you very much.… Continue Reading

Save the Cheeseburger, save the world – benefits of Cheeseburgers 🍔🍔🍔

???? Cheeseburgers ???? are undoubtedly one of the most beloved and iconic dishes around the world. The combination of the succulent patty, melted cheese, and an array of delicious fillings nestled between two soft buns (toasted brioche for the win!) is a culinary delight that satisfies our taste buds and leaves us craving more. While cheeseburgers have often been associated with indulgence and guilt, it may come as a surprise to learn that they offer several unexpected benefits beyond their mouth-watering taste. In this post, we'll explore the surprising advantages of enjoying a cheeseburger and how it can contribute to a balanced and less-miserable diet. Save the cheeseburger ????, save the world! ???? … Continue Reading

Spabbit’s top words & phrases to be deleted! #Rant

Fair play - This one sucks arse, it's the ultimate low-brow, knuckle-dragging version of supposedly showing respect for achievement. Take your language beyond the secondary school play ground level!

Nom - Any adult using this word (and any other fucking baby-talk) outside of cooing to a baby needs to be fucking shot. Eating noises are beyond redemption, and using a word to mean such? YouFuckingWhat!… Continue Reading

Bastards Freezing!

OK so here in the UK we’re currently in the icy grip of winter… and by winter I mean the temperature could drop to say -10℃, but wet with it which I’m told feels a fuckton colder than places were it actually is -40℃ (yes I’m talking in centigrade for any Americans reading). So ‘bastard freezing’ is a phrase often uttered here…. I decided to take it to a more formal setting!

Single-Bastard ???? You're shivering, getting into bed hurts until it warms up under the sheets a little. Nothing too serious.

Duo-bastard ???????????? Clothes are a requirement, nipples might be mistaken for cruise-missiles in launch mode… Continue Reading

Spabbit’s Favourite Words!

Yoink There’s just something so well formed and rounded about Yoink - the way it rolls off the tongue with a sharp almost smug termination, often accompanied by a wide grin! Yoink has been made famous by America's First Family, The Simpsons! - In modern times Yoink has taken on a life of its own, from social meme-acquisition acknowledgement to taking the last doughnut in the office! /yoink … Continue Reading

Spabbity Cooking Tips!

I've spent my 10,000 hours in the kitchen, not through particularly trying, but simply because I'm old, and like cooking. Cooking for me is great, but only when I have enough time to enjoy it, which isn't easy with a full time job etc! So here is my collection of tips - these have been acquired over those 10,000+ hours and, well every day is a school day - never close your mind to doing something differently. If you make use of even one of them, then my job is done :) … Continue Reading

Motivational shit

Yeah, you’ll notice a lack of motivational shit here.

This is because I am / am not a c*nt; depending on your view point. Yes, this is a #rant, don't like rants... off you fuck to a quiet corner of the interwebs, otherwise read on!

"Kid, life is pain..." A well known quote from a well known Gena Davies film.

Her character is right - life is pain, and the only bargaining chip is time, it is literally the only thing we have, no matter what your Job and who you are - the only thing you’re getting paid for is the minutes of your life, and they’re in pathetically short supply. Trouble is, your function isn’t unique, and you get chucked into a random labour pool where the rate per minute of your life is largely beyond your control- this is largely known as life sucks donkey-balls… Continue Reading