Spabbit’s top words & phrases to be deleted! #Rant

Fair play - This one sucks arse, it's the ultimate low-brow, knuckle-dragging version of supposedly showing respect for achievement. Take your language beyond the secondary school play ground level!

Nom - Any adult using this word (and any other fucking baby-talk) outside of cooing to a baby needs to be fucking shot. Eating noises are beyond redemption, and using a word to mean such? YouFuckingWhat!… Continue Reading

Bastards Freezing!

OK so here in the UK we’re currently in the icy grip of winter… and by winter I mean the temperature could drop to say -10℃, but wet with it which I’m told feels a fuckton colder than places were it actually is -40℃ (yes I’m talking in centigrade for any Americans reading). So ‘bastard freezing’ is a phrase often uttered here…. I decided to take it to a more formal setting!

Single-Bastard 🧊 You're shivering, getting into bed hurts until it warms up under the sheets a little. Nothing too serious.

Duo-bastard 🧊🧊🚀 Clothes are a requirement, nipples might be mistaken for cruise-missiles in launch mode… Continue Reading

BMW Mini: Just don’t.


Just fucking don't. These cars are a massive mistake which shouldn't be repeated. Yes this is a rant. Yes, I'm bitter.

I've just exited, stage-Vauxhall, from a toxic 2.5 year relationship with a 2012 Mini Countryman Cooper-S. Don't get me wrong, it was a sexy minx of a turbo-charged car, great looks, fantastic performance when not driving like a pussy... but as with most sexy minx profiled objects in life, it came with a giant slice of super-expensive-psycho-pie.

I have had friends attest to the reliability of BMW based cars, but for me, fucking never again. Beautiful to drive, but will surely turn around and stab you in the heart, just because. So fucking expensive to maintain, and things will go wrong... high pressure fuel pump, coils, temperature sensors, door seals, sils, head-gasket... you fucking name it, that car fucked me with it. Great looking cars too... most of them are an 8+... but seriously, unless you have reached the socio-economic status where you have a large collection of fucks which you deal out with abandon, just don't. … Continue Reading

#Tesco Click and collect #Fail

So… We’re in local lockdown again due to the mismanagement of the country by the government. Everyone is using click and collect, or delivery – it should be a well oiled machine now – well #Tesco managed to fuck this all up royally. This is my recent experience, and my opinion:

Turn up for a two hour slot, I was a few minutes early.… Continue Reading

Do the right thing, not the easy thing.

This is a public service rant, one with an impassioned cause. You’re welcome.

These are the times in which we all need to make hard choices, the right choices. In making the right choices, individuals may come off worse from the fight; some may pay the ultimate and horrific price of dying alone - away from any shred of human interaction or support. Loved ones, friends, families, they’re all separated by something which can’t be touched, something invisible, something void of emotion, and with a singular deadly purpose. … Continue Reading

Useless public servant!

“A list of rules has been sent to Jacob Rees-Mogg’s staff asking them to stop using words such as “hopefully” and demanding that they use only imperial measurements and give all non-titled males the suffix Esq.”

Many thanks to the Guardian for raising the issue that this overpaid (supposedly) public SERVANT is wasting tax payers money by being bloody USELESS.… Continue Reading