Orrible ‘lil Baby #3 Family+1

IMG_4264I’ve been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks, but stuff got in the way… Rum, being drink, curry, work, more rum, the FSM, and possibly #BRExit…

This is Theo John – aka Orrible ‘lil Baby #3 (Grandson), born on the 16th June, slightly premature.

Wonder what he’ll think of today, in 20 years time?

Anyhow, following on – this means a few things…

  1. Added onto the sentence of the first two, this means a double dose of baby-crap lying around – we already have two high-chairs!
  2. Triple grandma mode for my wife!
  3. Yet more wallet pain, I swear the next time I use a ATM, the thing is going to shout “Clear!”, and shock my card back to life.
  4. I’m old, OK, not that old, as the original childs were gained via marriage; still #antique!
  5. My sister going to be standing in loco parentis… I gather she screamed a little [sic] when being told of the news.
  6. Another child who I’m going to be teaching to cook properly, without the aid of pre-cooked crud in tins! (Points at his mother… “But I added something else!” – yers)…
  7. Me wondering if this is going to be the last one, and if I’m going to see any great-grandchildren in around 25 years from now, if my dicky-ticker is still ticking…

Orrible ‘lil Baby #2 Family+1

imageThis is Chloe May aka Orrible ‘lil Baby #2 (Granddaughter), born yesterday 06/06/2016 at around 15:30 GMT.

The birth means a few things…

  1. Another 2 years of baby goop and crap lying around (After the first two years, baby turn more human, less goop).
  2. My wife been drawn into baby-grandma mode for another 2 years.
  3. Me having to comfort and soothe my wallet, this is an extension on the already going 30 year term for the first grandchild.
  4. Makes me feel like an antique.
  5. My sister going in to full-on-goo-gah mode when she next visits and sees Chloe for the first time.
  6. More children who I’m going to be teaching to cook properly!
  7. I’m going to need more rum…

That is all – further updates to follow… And don’t for a moment be going all goo-gah over the photo… Orrible ‘lil Baby!

Holiday and the sister.

As the previous, more public post has mentioned, this is the holiday, the last one of the holiday year, the first one of this actual year.  The primary reason for the holiday: My Wife’s Birthday – happy Birthday!

Anyhow, my sister is visiting.  Always a trigger for some carnage, and after the hard core diet of last week (Less than 1,000 calories a day and lots of the exercise), I’m diving head first into the debauchery with no small amount of lust and desire 🙂

It has been a great time, only slightly shadowed by the fucking-parents being their usual arsehole selves…  Dad got mega drunk, then started to slag people off, wrong move…  Mavis… well she just started to slag people off left right and centre… Talk about fucking glass houses.  Also thanks to Dad forgetting his glasses in my car, I had to drive three fucking hours back and fore to their house, located in the middle of buttfucknowhere.

Moving on – So far there has been food * lots, and even more drink.  I think she’s done around 20 cans of cider, my wife around five bottles of wine, and my self, well… around a litre and a half of white rum!  (Mind, as a Pastafarian, it is my duty and obligation to drink Rum… Arghhhhh!)

Anyhow, here are a few pics, pre-carnage that is 🙂

(Excuse this one, it has the fucking-parents in it, Dad was well on his way to fucking-drunk at this point in time)…


Myself and Tina, posing for the camera (A rare occasion)


And finally, Tina, on the phone to the boys 🙂 (In this one you can see some of the evidence… and OK,, there might be a little carnage in this shot)