Easter = Bullshit

In reference to: This Telegraph Article where the Christians are accusing people of erasing Easter...

We all know, Easter is bullshit, cultural appropriation and rape in the name of Christian religions. The cultural rape, pain, and appropriation driven as a whole by the historic advances of insidious religions, yet they have the bold faced cheek to claim discrimination and minimisation of their pillaged appropriations, the results of cultural rape which they themselves have conducted in the past... Don't live in a glass house and throw bricks, you hypocritical bastard-scum-vermin! … Continue Reading

When the fuck did I become an old man: the encore – le bis!

So here we are five years from the 1st "When the fuck did I become an old man?" article... We're already at part two, La deuxième manche!. It only seemed like yesterday @Spabbit was born, now it's almost 10, a fucking decade in the making, and I'm a decade older! (Yes, I tenaciously made it this far lol). So here it is: When the fuck did I become an even older old man!

Video Game Retirement: I'm in the cohort of Gen-X aging not gracefully, and still playing video games - Why Mario, that's a fine walking-stick you have there! … Continue Reading

The Sound and the Fury: Surviving in a World That Won’t Stop Chewing

Misophonia, or 'Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome', is one tough motherfcker of a condition. It's not just about hating sounds; it's about certain noises triggering a storm of emotions, ranging from irritation to outright rage. It's like those sounds are picking a fight with your brain, and your brain is like, "I've had it with these motherfucking sounds in this motherfucking cafe!"

The science behind this is as complex as a plot in a Tarantino flick. It's not the ears; it's the brain that's getting all fucked up. Parts of the brain that deal with emotions and sensory input are going haywire, making everyday sounds like chewing, slurping, or even whistling feel like a personal attack. … Continue Reading

Religious Guilt Bullshit? Say no, and come to the dark-side, we have guilt-free cookies!

TL;DR - Don't be dick, no sky-fairy required. Read on for entertainment :)

Regarding sky-fairies and guilt. Yes, you only have to check some porn out and google "catholic guilt", or talk to any of those who profess to talk to the sky-fairies... GUILTY... yes there are those out there who believe the lies in the books, the snake-oil salesman who says you're guilty, and they can save you for a price! For us atheists, it’s less about ‘Thou shalt not’, and more like ‘I probably shouldn’t, but fuck it.’ But let's not forget, atheists (mostly) follow society’s guidelines like everyone else. No deity required, we ain't gonna murder/rape/pillage because we're not constrained by 'teachings' of a sky-fairy, thank you very much.… Continue Reading

Spabbit’s top words & phrases to be deleted! #Rant

Fair play - This one sucks arse, it's the ultimate low-brow, knuckle-dragging version of supposedly showing respect for achievement. Take your language beyond the secondary school play ground level!

Nom - Any adult using this word (and any other fucking baby-talk) outside of cooing to a baby needs to be fucking shot. Eating noises are beyond redemption, and using a word to mean such? YouFuckingWhat!… Continue Reading

Motivational shit



Yeah, you’ll notice a lack of motivational shit here.

This is because I am / am not a c*nt; depending on your view point. Yes, this is a #rant, don't like rants... off you fuck to a quiet corner of the interwebs, otherwise read on!

"Kid, life is pain..." A well known quote from a well known Gena Davies film.

Her character is right - life is pain, and the only bargaining chip is time, it is literally the only thing we have, no matter what your Job and who you are - the only thing you’re getting paid for is the minutes of your life, and they’re in pathetically short supply. Trouble is, your function isn’t unique, and you get chucked into a random labour pool where the rate per minute of your life is largely beyond your control- this is largely known as life sucks donkey-balls… Continue Reading

BMW Mini: Just don’t.


Just fucking don't. These cars are a massive mistake which shouldn't be repeated. Yes this is a rant. Yes, I'm bitter.

I've just exited, stage-Vauxhall, from a toxic 2.5 year relationship with a 2012 Mini Countryman Cooper-S. Don't get me wrong, it was a sexy minx of a turbo-charged car, great looks, fantastic performance when not driving like a pussy... but as with most sexy minx profiled objects in life, it came with a giant slice of super-expensive-psycho-pie.

I have had friends attest to the reliability of BMW based cars, but for me, fucking never again. Beautiful to drive, but will surely turn around and stab you in the heart, just because. So fucking expensive to maintain, and things will go wrong... high pressure fuel pump, coils, temperature sensors, door seals, sils, head-gasket... you fucking name it, that car fucked me with it. Great looking cars too... most of them are an 8+... but seriously, unless you have reached the socio-economic status where you have a large collection of fucks which you deal out with abandon, just don't. … Continue Reading

Rant: The Spabbit is back & The state of 2021

Disclaimer: This article is largely ranty. If you don't wanna read the rant, off you fuck to a boring corner of the interwebs.

COVID, decline in mental health, and having a bloody busy life has slowed down (read: glacial level) the pace of the Spabbit posts... win some, lose some, the Spabbit is still here, spabbiting up the interwebs. Now for some rants, one of the main topics of this site.

Fucking COVID. Where do you start? Well for one, fuck COVID. Number Two: When all this COVID shite started, we had real problems in the UK, you know - people dying and shit - nobody knew shit about getting over it, nobody knew shit about managing the virus, it was all stay the fuck home, don't touch anything, don't go anywhere, don't fucking breathe. Then we got better at this shit - it's airborne, so we can all touch stuff again, so masks, so silly rules made up by politicians.… Continue Reading

#COVID One Way Systems #Bollocks.

What bright fucking spark had the idea of one way systems inside buildings?

Seriously, I want to know – the dumbest element of humanity has a new king!

If you’re a planner, consider the following as examples where this is a complete fail:

In a pub or shop or shopping-centre / mall where the walk-way is narrow, and by narrow, I mean comfortable for two people to walk side-by-side.…

Do the right thing, not the easy thing.

This is a public service rant, one with an impassioned cause. You’re welcome.

These are the times in which we all need to make hard choices, the right choices. In making the right choices, individuals may come off worse from the fight; some may pay the ultimate and horrific price of dying alone - away from any shred of human interaction or support. Loved ones, friends, families, they’re all separated by something which can’t be touched, something invisible, something void of emotion, and with a singular deadly purpose. … Continue Reading

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt.

This is going to be a short article.

Erm… maybe.

Yeeeee nah, I’m a c*nt really.

Click the link below. You’d better like swearing though. There’s a fuckton of swearing, and for the less educated amongst you, that’s like 1000 shittons. So if you don’t like professional industrial level swearing which would put a roughneck to shame, or if you’re a snowflake, then scroll on by and have a nice life, otherwise read on.…

When the fuck did I become an old man?

Recently something smacked me in the face so hard as to knock me into next week. Yup that's right... fucking time travel, motherfuckers. Only this isn't the nice kind of time travel where Doc Brown and a mongrel of questionable origin is awaiting you with a nice warm amplifier. This is the kind of time travel which makes reality movies about the collapse of civilisation look like a fucking cartoon … Continue Reading

Another tweet to @BBCRadio2, which will be ignored. #atheist

Here’s yet another tweet from yours truly to @BBCRadio2, which they will ignore, as per usual.

bbcr2tw

The BBC, which is paid for by the British Public under the licence fee (Read: Thinly veiled tax), are intent on shoving the opinion of religious crazys at us pretty much constantly; further, to add insult aimed towards the thinking majority of the world – they don’t even acknowledge the criticism.…

TalkTalk: The Fibre Saga

TTFOfferWell… We recently decided to believe the advertising (Silly, I know), and upgrade our TalkTalk Broadband package to include the new ‘Fibre’ package, which claims to be 5x faster than the standard ADSL2 which we had.

Well… Fibre isn’t fibre, in this case it’s VDSL2, and whist there may be a fibre somewhere along the route, probably to a green box at the end of the street, there is no fibre to our house.…

IKEA, a piss poor experience – no fucks given…

IKEAIKEA… It’s like Marmite, either love it or hate it, there is no middle of the road here – but either way IKEA is a necessary evil of the world, like Argos, and sometimes there’s no other way.

We’ve used IKEA (The Cardiff Store) many times over the years, and had varying degrees of service from the staff, but this latest visit has been the worst yet, and I sincerely hope that IKEA will not be a part of my future for as long as I can foresee.…

Sexist supermarkets in the UK, Lacking Customer Service!

SupermarketsDear Supermarkets, mainly Asda, Tesco, and Sainsburys.

Why are you so sexist towards men?

I’m a man. Yes, it’s true. It’s also true that I like to buy clothes, and shoes. Going naked is frowned upon.

For years now Supermarkets have done a decent job for women in the UK, the ranges are always expanding, and what’s more all the sizes are there – no longer do you find discrimination against the larger female form, in most cases.…