Category: #Rant

Spabbit’s top words & phrases to be deleted! #Rant

Fair play - This one sucks arse, it's the ultimate low-brow, knuckle-dragging version of supposedly showing respect for achievement. Take your language beyond the secondary school play ground level!

Nom - Any adult using this word (and any other fucking baby-talk) outside of cooing to a baby needs to be fucking shot. Eating noises are beyond redemption, and using a word to mean such? YouFuckingWhat!… Continue Reading

Motivational shit



Yeah, you’ll notice a lack of motivational shit here.

This is because I am / am not a c*nt; depending on your view point. Yes, this is a #rant, don't like rants... off you fuck to a quiet corner of the interwebs, otherwise read on!

"Kid, life is pain..." A well known quote from a well known Gena Davies film.

Her character is right - life is pain, and the only bargaining chip is time, it is literally the only thing we have, no matter what your Job and who you are - the only thing you’re getting paid for is the minutes of your life, and they’re in pathetically short supply. Trouble is, your function isn’t unique, and you get chucked into a random labour pool where the rate per minute of your life is largely beyond your control- this is largely known as life sucks donkey-balls… Continue Reading

BMW Mini: Just don’t.


Just fucking don't. These cars are a massive mistake which shouldn't be repeated. Yes this is a rant. Yes, I'm bitter.

I've just exited, stage-Vauxhall, from a toxic 2.5 year relationship with a 2012 Mini Countryman Cooper-S. Don't get me wrong, it was a sexy minx of a turbo-charged car, great looks, fantastic performance when not driving like a pussy... but as with most sexy minx profiled objects in life, it came with a giant slice of super-expensive-psycho-pie.

I have had friends attest to the reliability of BMW based cars, but for me, fucking never again. Beautiful to drive, but will surely turn around and stab you in the heart, just because. So fucking expensive to maintain, and things will go wrong... high pressure fuel pump, coils, temperature sensors, door seals, sils, head-gasket... you fucking name it, that car fucked me with it. Great looking cars too... most of them are an 8+... but seriously, unless you have reached the socio-economic status where you have a large collection of fucks which you deal out with abandon, just don't. … Continue Reading

Rant: The Spabbit is back & The state of 2021

Disclaimer: This article is largely ranty. If you don't wanna read the rant, off you fuck to a boring corner of the interwebs.

COVID, decline in mental health, and having a bloody busy life has slowed down (read: glacial level) the pace of the Spabbit posts... win some, lose some, the Spabbit is still here, spabbiting up the interwebs. Now for some rants, one of the main topics of this site.

Fucking COVID. Where do you start? Well for one, fuck COVID. Number Two: When all this COVID shite started, we had real problems in the UK, you know - people dying and shit - nobody knew shit about getting over it, nobody knew shit about managing the virus, it was all stay the fuck home, don't touch anything, don't go anywhere, don't fucking breathe. Then we got better at this shit - it's airborne, so we can all touch stuff again, so masks, so silly rules made up by politicians.… Continue Reading

#COVID One Way Systems #Bollocks.

What bright fucking spark had the idea of one way systems inside buildings?

Seriously, I want to know – the dumbest element of humanity has a new king!

If you’re a planner, consider the following as examples where this is a complete fail:

In a pub or shop or shopping-centre / mall where the walk-way is narrow, and by narrow, I mean comfortable for two people to walk side-by-side.… Continue Reading

#Tesco Click and collect #Fail

So… We’re in local lockdown again due to the mismanagement of the country by the government. Everyone is using click and collect, or delivery – it should be a well oiled machine now – well #Tesco managed to fuck this all up royally. This is my recent experience, and my opinion:

Turn up for a two hour slot, I was a few minutes early.… Continue Reading

What if…


What if we lived in a world where exams didn't exist? After the initial clusterfuck in the UK around cancelling the summer exams across the board, things have now started to settle down. Teacher assessments have taken the place of exams. Not counting the stress of the initial clusterfuck, how easy was that!? … Continue Reading

Do the right thing, not the easy thing.

This is a public service rant, one with an impassioned cause. You’re welcome.

These are the times in which we all need to make hard choices, the right choices. In making the right choices, individuals may come off worse from the fight; some may pay the ultimate and horrific price of dying alone - away from any shred of human interaction or support. Loved ones, friends, families, they’re all separated by something which can’t be touched, something invisible, something void of emotion, and with a singular deadly purpose. … Continue Reading

Useless public servant!

“A list of rules has been sent to Jacob Rees-Mogg’s staff asking them to stop using words such as “hopefully” and demanding that they use only imperial measurements and give all non-titled males the suffix Esq.”

Many thanks to the Guardian for raising the issue that this overpaid (supposedly) public SERVANT is wasting tax payers money by being bloody USELESS.… Continue Reading

You Fucking What!? & The Colour of Fuckery

You Fucking What! WTF is this all about? Does Fuckery have a colour? In today’s bout of brain dump to keyboard, I’ll point at the insanity of the world at large in order to maybe answer back.

“You Fucking What!” is a phrase I seem to utter with an increasing rate of abandon as the world is plunging into an infinite sea of Fuckery.… Continue Reading

My Novatech experience.

Looking at the pic to the right of the inside of a new PC. What’s wrong I hear you ask? Cable routing – some kind person has routed all the cables through the 5.25″ drive bays, rendering them useless. They’ve even routed the front connector cables for the case via the bottom of the drive bays.… Continue Reading

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt.

This is going to be a short article.

Erm… maybe.

Yeeeee nah, I’m a c*nt really.

Click the link below. You’d better like swearing though. There’s a fuckton of swearing, and for the less educated amongst you, that’s like 1000 shittons. So if you don’t like professional industrial level swearing which would put a roughneck to shame, or if you’re a snowflake, then scroll on by and have a nice life, otherwise read on.… Continue Reading