In a pit of cokeless despair? Maybe? Probably not. How did Coke become such a part of society? Marketing, muthafuckers, marketing!
Found this old image collection – no wonder it got so big!
Following on from the “Bit of a shitty post“, here are some of the more used Spabbitisms, those made-up words (Aren’t they all?)
We’re all getting more random, right? (All of us, or just some randoms?)
Was I born at the wrong time, or was the wrong time when I was born? 🙂
At this point, you’re probably thinking ‘bullshit’, and you’d be right in some reality. Your bullshit detector would be right on the money. Except, it’s all true.
I’ve noticed, most recently and with an accelerating pace, that I’m getting more random, and older. As the premise of this article goes, I’m just not sure what’s coming first, or it’s just a coincidence that they just happen to be occurring at the same time. So let’s explore some of the random.
Music is like a canary in this instance, for me. When I was younger there was a distinct divide between old and new music, between classical, and pop. I’ve recently learned a new phrase “Low-Fi Soul” – to have a musical (or other) taste which is older than you are. I’m going lower by the day – my tastes are rapidly evolving to appreciate music either from, or in the styles of the 50s/60s – 10 to 20 years before I was even conceived. I think it’s driving my wife nuts, but that’s nothing new. It’s costing me a fortune, and I’m wondering where, or when (sic) it’ll stop. “Marriage is finding that special person to annoy for the rest of your life”…
Talking of the the music, here are a few fantastic examples of modern artists turning back the clock with modern fidelity. Hi-Fi, Lo-Fi hits :). I fucking love these…
And here are some random thoughts which have occurred, sometimes whilst sober (shocking, right?)
I do love a smash of random rants – good for the soul.
These Rantlets have been brewing for a while, eking out their thin veil of truth, trust, and a bucket full of sardonic-mode moral outrage. I’m letting them roam into the thoughts of the public. Keep Calm, and RANT on!
Just as a strict disclaimer… If you’re offended by this, assuredly none of the below (Or anything on this site) is targeted at you as an individual. Nothing here is anything-phobic, or rasist, or anything baring a good rant and dark-sardonic humour. If you’re offended, scroll on by and enjoy your life. If you laughed at this article – I like you 🙂
As the title implies, this post will detail the one thing in life which we all have in common (Apart from dying, butt that’s taking the darkness too far around the u-bend)… And that is shit – poop, shite, discharge, dung, and stool. Merde, Scheisse, Kak, Mierda, and Gówno. I don’t want you to assume that this article will be guano, it’s going to be solid gold epically funny shit…
Getting to the matter at arse – we’re all full of it – shit – from the caveman to the supermodel to the tramp, we all have the shittiest thing in common – it’s the great leveller – pigs have understood this for years, and the shitty little buggers literally roll in it given half a chance!
Now this article will detail some of the different shits out there, and don’t assume for one minute that I’ll cover all the shit in one article, but this is my unique shitty view – coming soon to a loo near you 😉
Now if you’re still reading at this point, you’re some tough shit, but even tough shit deserves some light relief – so my shittiest couple of jokes:
A Dung Beetle walks into a bar. It says to the Bar-Tender “Is that stool taken”…
I don’t want you all to think that all my favourite jokes are shit-based, but they always come in a solid number two…
(I know you’re wondering… there are 63 mentions of the word shit (now 64!) in this article!)
Finally, don’t say I never post anything educational 😉
Recently something smacked me in the face so hard as to knock me into next week. Yup that’s right… fucking time travel, motherfuckers. Only this isn’t the nice kind of time travel where Doc Brown and a mongrel of questionable origin is awaiting you with a nice warm amplifier. This is the kind of time travel which makes reality movies about the collapse of civilisation look like a fucking cartoon. This is getting old(er)…
So, as I was saying about the knocking and next week. It’s next week, and I’m old.
So getting older. In my imagination I can see a bold figure clawing away at the walls of life itself, whilst being dragged kicking and screaming into the eternal darkness, all the time screaming like something more wild than wild. Reality: Everything fucking hurts.
You know the worst part? I’m not evening fucking 45 yet, and I might have the best part of another 40 years doing this shite. Still, I’m a cheap date now, and by the time I’m much older I’ll be able to get off on a whiff of perfume 😉
Oh, and you people in your 20’s and 30’s reading this – you’ll all think that this will never be you. HaHa!
I’m worried about lots of things, all the time. Sometimes I turn to the common vices, drink etc… But why the fuck do we all worry all the time, soon enough we’ll all be dead, and when you’re dead, you don’t care anymore.
Fucking evolution and biology. Fuck them both.
The Human Condition: Bright enough to know what you are, and why you are. Too fucking dumb to do jack shit about it. Yup – there’s your problem.
… And that’s my 14 – spread over 30 years of collecting music… There are so many more artists in the collection, this is a small slice of my personal history!