When the fuck did I become an old man: the encore – le bis!

So here we are five years from the 1st "When the fuck did I become an old man?" article... We're already at part two, La deuxième manche!. It only seemed like yesterday @Spabbit was born, now it's almost 10, a fucking decade in the making, and I'm a decade older! (Yes, I tenaciously made it this far lol). So here it is: When the fuck did I become an even older old man!

Video Game Retirement: I'm in the cohort of Gen-X aging not gracefully, and still playing video games - Why Mario, that's a fine walking-stick you have there! … Continue Reading

High Functioning Anxiety: The best jape from the fetid depths of Loki’s Mirth-Bank

This is the third article on High Function Anxiety I've authored, and as with the others it's been penned after an incident / flare-up whilst the experience is still fresh. It's almost like watching a dream, then recording what happened afterwards, so here goes:

Hollywood has, I would imagine several hundred times over history, made productions around super-powers gone bad – it's in the start of almost every super-hero movie or program that the hero discovers a power by accident, however it's never smooth sailing – there is always some degree of fuckery surrounding the newly discovered power. The fuckery in question generally has a light and a dark side, so the hero might be able to make a drink insta-chill in their hands, or might accidently freeze a loved one to death – either way the super power is doing it's own thing and the hero has no control over it – this is the phase High Functioning Anxiety is permanently stuck in.… Continue Reading

Bald is the way – do it today!


Middle aged (or any age?) man? Yes? - Beard? Yes? - Fucking be done with it, shave it off and enjoy!

Yes, the Spabbit is now sporting the cue-ball look on top. For me, it came to the point where there was no resistance to the comb when sorting out my hair in mornings, or any other times to be fair. Going back 20 years ago I had biker-hair down to the crack of me arse, coupled with a certain physical condition meant that I was sometimes yelled at by the inebriated in the very complimentary way of "Oi! Meatloaf!". I think those times, and that hair-style may have meant that my fore-head rose to a 12-head, and at the front, in the glare of the naked sun, I may have blinded passing aircraft or at least confused the odd starling. … Continue Reading

Rant: The Spabbit is back & The state of 2021

Disclaimer: This article is largely ranty. If you don't wanna read the rant, off you fuck to a boring corner of the interwebs.

COVID, decline in mental health, and having a bloody busy life has slowed down (read: glacial level) the pace of the Spabbit posts... win some, lose some, the Spabbit is still here, spabbiting up the interwebs. Now for some rants, one of the main topics of this site.

Fucking COVID. Where do you start? Well for one, fuck COVID. Number Two: When all this COVID shite started, we had real problems in the UK, you know - people dying and shit - nobody knew shit about getting over it, nobody knew shit about managing the virus, it was all stay the fuck home, don't touch anything, don't go anywhere, don't fucking breathe. Then we got better at this shit - it's airborne, so we can all touch stuff again, so masks, so silly rules made up by politicians.… Continue Reading

When the fuck did I become an old man?

Recently something smacked me in the face so hard as to knock me into next week. Yup that's right... fucking time travel, motherfuckers. Only this isn't the nice kind of time travel where Doc Brown and a mongrel of questionable origin is awaiting you with a nice warm amplifier. This is the kind of time travel which makes reality movies about the collapse of civilisation look like a fucking cartoon … Continue Reading

All the answers?

Just turned 42. Should I have all the answers to Life, The Universe, and everything? I think so.

I didn’t work. I still don’t have the answers, only more questions, mind, are the questions also the answers? Is the cat in the box alive or dead? Don’t peek 😉

This year end has been slightly less depressing than usual, perhaps because I was largely able to sulk in my own special way on my birthday, meaning that the following day, in comparison, seemed a shitload better.…

#BBC #BASTARDS #McKinsey

Found this delightful article on the BBC today which compares fat people with hard core smokers and alcoholics… Seems they’ve fucked up again…

When was the last time a fat person got sent to jail after beating up their partner and kids for a sugar fix….

When was the last time you heard of a sugar junkie breaking in and robbing someone, then stabbing them in a sugar induced raged, spending the rest of their life behind bars?…