Reasons why I’m not a c*nt

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt.

This is going to be a short article.

Erm… maybe.

Yeeeee nah, I’m a c*nt really.

Click the link below. You’d better like swearing though. There’s a fuckton of swearing, and for the less educated amongst you, that’s like 1000 shittons. So if you don’t like professional industrial level swearing which would put a roughneck to shame, or if you’re a snowflake, then scroll on by and have a nice life, otherwise read on.

Continue reading Reasons why I’m not a c*nt

A deep dive of the killer-chicken spabbit-hole

Today I stumbled upon summarized trash-science piece headlined “Eating fried chicken every day could mean you die earlier, according to a new study”.

Oh dear.

A internal conversation was immediately kicked off in my mind, it went something like this:

  • Voice 1:
      Oh shit, I’ve eaten a LOT of fried chicken!
  • Voice 2:
      It was delicious.
  • Voice 1:
      But if you carry on, you’ll die.
  • Voice 2:
      I welcome the prospect of death by fried chicken.
  • Voice 2:
      I want KFC, now.
  • Voice 1:
      Well you can’t – it’s not even 7 in the morning.
  • Voice 2:
      Fuck.
  • Voice 1:
      Meh.
  • Voice 2:
      *silently plots to have a KFC later*

You think that’s bad? I have to put up with that 24/7 – and sometimes, I don’t even know what those inner voices are plotting. Fuckers.

Oh, and don’t even think of Googling “Killer Chicken”, apparently in some-place somewhere it’s a thing:

I’ve cracked my Facebook addiction.

Around a couple of weeks ago, I had a moment – the moment was a realisation that I was hooked on something, and just like any addict, I just couldn’t leave it alone. Now I’m not your typical person in regard to addiction – I can stop and start both alcohol and nicotine on a dime, as the Americans would say. Yup, very true – friends, colleagues and family all call me various names for my ability to go cold turkey and not turn into a raging monster (Then there’s the other side where I start up with no ill effects!).

Anyhow, despite my lack of traditional addiction, in the moment, I realised that Facebook was an unwelcome intruder in my mind, every five minutes whilst watching TV I’d be on the endless scroll quest to get yet more crap. I’m particular in the crap which flows in – for example, I don’t watch adverts on TV, and try to limit my news intake. Yet despite everything there was Facebook – even saying “Facebook” sounds like some kind of dirty word now.

I understand that some aspect, in a vague nebulous way, some long-ago nascent thought said “It’s a great way to keep up with Friends and Family”. It lied. You know the best way to keep with Friends and Family. See them. Call them. Be with them. Try it, you’ll appreciate the fresh yet old-fashioned way of doing things. Be in the moment. There is no spoon!

At first the revulsion was so bad, I turned off my devices and left them in another room. If I was going to go cold-turkey, I was going to do it full-bore. I managed to make that last most of a weekend, and then I had to re-join the connected-world (I work in I.T. and it’s kinda expected that you’re online 24*7). Even now, getting connected to the News and the world still gives me a mental twitch which I can’t shrug off. I’m conversant with the sardonic nature of recording these thoughts and posting them online – it’s like a great big dirty burger of filth, demolished with gusto, coming back with that sick sinking feeling of “What have I done!?”.

Can I escape Facebook completely? No. The insidious Facebook has managed to weave itself into minds and hearts like some kind of meme-virus. The insidious Facebook had managed to integrate into modern society, it’s truly the electronic equivalent of a symbiote. Instead of a community notice board for my area, there is a Facebook Group. Instead of a buy and sell board, there is a Facebook Buy & Sell Group. Instead of phoning up the local authority, they’re on Facebook, posting official notifications for the masses to digest. You get the picture – Facebook has a Face-Tentacle in everything everywhere.

Where am I left now? In Face-Limbo.

Fuck.

I Find That Offensive!

iftoI was listening to the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2, the subject matter, centred around “the right to take offense” struck a chord with me. In the programme, the author Claire Fox described her experiences with young adults which inspired her to write the book, “I Find That Offensive“.

I agree 100% with everything she says in the book, and I fear for the future of the society which allows, and to a lesser extent encourages this behaviour among the young.

It’s a very interesting read, which I would strongly recommend to any thinking and reasoning adult – and if you have the opportunity to change the mind of a young person to be more open and less offended, then please enable that most vital skill set whenever, and wherever you can; survival of the race by decreasing future offended-wars is a noble quest. (I’m also of the opinion this ties in with a secular or atheist point of view, I strongly suspect the religious mind isn’t capable of this, not truly…)

There are a few memes drifting around the interwebs concerning the same subject – all along the same lines – and they’re true… “So fucking what?” as Stephen Fry says…
IMG_1451

This is where Blasphemy started, and we all know how fucking evil that shit is – people have been killing and torturing other people throughout the ages in the name of that fucker, and the worst thing, it still goes on today – however it now seems that the youth of today is intent on broadening this to other subjects as well… Claire Fox describes a talk regarding a footballer, convicted of rape, discussing whether or not he should resume his career, where any other points of view than further, and more extreme methods of punishment were shouted down, and effectively banned by the court of “I’m offended” – it’s a sad state of affairs when our young adults are so mentally closeted they can’t even hear the opinion of others.

IMG_1452It’s my personal opinion that they’ve simply had it too easy, they don’t know what real life is actually like, they’ve never struggled for crusts of bread, they’ve never been broken, never hit rock bottom and then fallen some more – IF you’ve been unfortunate (Or should I say fortunate?) enough to have been that broken, you know, you just fucking know that life isn’t that simple. The act of being broken – it makes you – when coming out the other side, you have a fresh appreciation of what actually matters, and you know, just being fucking offended simply doesn’t live in the same universe as real life.

Here are a couple of quotes of mine, and I sincerely hope they offend someone somewhere…

“Offended? – Good. Makes you feel alive. Everyone has the right to be offended, cause offence and be told to fuck off, quite equally. Anyone who thinks anything else is clearly fucking insane.”

“Anyone who is offended merely by words not the context / intent of the words is truly stupid.
Stupidity is the only universal crime.
Darwin for the win.”

How to remove the metadata title from MKV files

mkvYou may have come across the need to remove the metadata, or extended title information from an mkv file downloaded from the internet.

Not all files are equal – in the case of regular files, for example .jpg and .mp4 files, you can simply right click in Windows, select Properties, and happily click away at the Details Tab, then “Remove Properties and Personal Information” – provided you have the right permissions, it’ll all work fine. MKV files will give you a permissions error, which is a lie, a dirty stinking filthy lie – don’t believe the lie.

Windows just doesn’t know how to deal with an MKV file title.

You need a 3rd party tool, and a small amount of knowledge.

The tool you need is MKVToolNix (Backup link to 64 bit installer, since their site seems to be down a lot). Go download and install. It’s free, and doesn’t nag.

Then you need to understand how to use the command line.

The basic command you need is: “C:\Program Files\MKVToolNix\mkvpropedit.exe” *mkv file name* -d title

When run, it will simply empty the metadata title from the file, no fuss, and it’ll only take a second.

Update: A number of people have asked me how to automate this to make it recursive, i.e. start at the top of a specified directory (Folder), and go through all sub-directories, processing all files.

This is how:

​@echo off
c:
cd \users\USERNAME\downloads\*.mkv
for /r %%i in (*.mkv) do (
echo processing "%%i"
"C:\Program Files\MKVToolNix\mkvpropedit.exe" "%%i" -d title
)

The For loop goes through every file in the folder structure (Given the *.mkv spec), and executes the mkvpropedit command on every file found in the list. Simples.

Feel free to nick the code above, and use it for your own purposes, but remember to change the relevant path names to those on your own system.

If you would like to know more about batch files, and how they (Plus the command line) work in Windows, please visit the excellent Wikibook: Windows Batch Scripting which should get you started, or go Google it 🙂

Batch scripting (Or otherwise known as Batch Files) enable simple yet powerful processing of almost anything in the DOS or Windows environments, however the batch-language is largely superseded by the more powerful Windows Powershell; but in my opinion it is still very much a valid and ultimately useful tool, for it’s ease of use and simplicity.

This article (Click here) shows you how to add this to the right click context menu in Windows – even easier!”

Not being morbid, or anything, but thereisnospoon.

muerteDo you ever wonder why you worry?

I’m worried about lots of things, all the time. Sometimes I turn to the common vices, drink etc… But why the fuck do we all worry all the time, soon enough we’ll all be dead, and when you’re dead, you don’t care anymore.

Why worry?

Fucking evolution and biology. Fuck them both.

The Human Condition: Bright enough to know what you are, and why you are. Too fucking dumb to do jack shit about it. Yup – there’s your problem.

Thereisnospoon.

How to reset Service Warning for the Nissan Almera Tino.

TinoThis is a bit of a left-field oddball post when compared to the rest of this blog, but one which needs to be out there…

I found the instructions listed somewhere on the interwebs a while ago, but only just got around to trying ’em… and they actually worked 🙂 So, if you have a Nissan Almera Tino, and are annoyed by the full screen and persistent service warning, then enjoy! (Of course, you should always service your car, but not because a screen bullies you into it!)

  • Switch ignition ON, don’t start the engine.
  • Switch radio ON.
  • Start engine.
  • Switch radio OFF.
  • Press and hold INFO button.
  • Whilst pressing and holding the INFO button, turn volume control knob at least 30 clicks to the right, until self dianostic menu is displayed.
  • Release the info button.
  • Using the Joystick, select Confirmation/Adjustment.
  • Select Service, press ENTER.
  • Select Reset, press ENTER.
  • Press BACK button repeatedly until the main menu is displayed.
  • Switch ignition OFF.
  • Never be bothered by this annoyance again!

The UK still maintains security #Trident

TridentThe UK is staying a member of the Mutual assured destruction club.

Spabbit is pleased. Without this the nation faces an increasing army of nutters willing to take on nation-states, and has nothing to lob back over the fence. With Trident, they know, they’re fucked if they do. MAD isn’t so mad, when looked at from a distance. For once the public schoolboy (and girl) tossers have got something right.

Orrible ‘lil Baby #3 Family+1

IMG_4264I’ve been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks, but stuff got in the way… Rum, being drink, curry, work, more rum, the FSM, and possibly #BRExit…

This is Theo John – aka Orrible ‘lil Baby #3 (Grandson), born on the 16th June, slightly premature.

Wonder what he’ll think of today, in 20 years time?

Anyhow, following on – this means a few things…

  1. Added onto the sentence of the first two, this means a double dose of baby-crap lying around – we already have two high-chairs!
  2. Triple grandma mode for my wife!
  3. Yet more wallet pain, I swear the next time I use a ATM, the thing is going to shout “Clear!”, and shock my card back to life.
  4. I’m old, OK, not that old, as the original childs were gained via marriage; still #antique!
  5. My sister going to be standing in loco parentis… I gather she screamed a little [sic] when being told of the news.
  6. Another child who I’m going to be teaching to cook properly, without the aid of pre-cooked crud in tins! (Points at his mother… “But I added something else!” – yers)…
  7. Me wondering if this is going to be the last one, and if I’m going to see any great-grandchildren in around 25 years from now, if my dicky-ticker is still ticking…