Do the right thing, not the easy thing.

This is a public service rant, one with an impassioned cause. You’re welcome.

These are the times in which we all need to make hard choices, the right choices. In making the right choices, individuals may come off worse from the fight; some may pay the ultimate and horrific price of dying alone – away from any shred of human interaction or support. Loved ones, friends, families, they’re all separated by something which can’t be touched, something invisible, something void of emotion, and with a singular deadly purpose. It’s human tragedy at best, and in the end will be an enduring testament to the resilience and sacrifice of those among us who have done the right thing, not the easy thing.

Those doing the right thing are standing up, or aside as the need arises, ensuring the safety of theirs and the wider human race as and when required. You know who you are, your life isn’t the same any more, and the drastic realisation of the pending mortalities surrounding you has struck like a spear to the heart. Fight or Flight, only this is Support, or Isolate. Doing the easy thing would be to bury your head in the sand, continue life as if nothing had happened, but those who are doing the easy thing – they’re death incarnate, wearing an invisible cloak spreading this plague among humanity without remorse. Shame on you, you monsters, doing the easy thing.

There’s hope, always there is hope. Don’t do the easy thing, stop and think of those who you’re endangering, the lives you’ll touch, and destroy. Just stop. Just keep your distance. It’s not about you. Those doing the easy thing, paying the price with their individual mortality, they’re selfish beyond words – they’ll probably be loved and valued, and their deaths will hurt others as surely as a stab wound to the heart. Of course those recently deceased who did the easy thing (the monsters), they’ll inevitably have been responsible for the deaths of thousands.

One break in the chain of infection. One break is amazing. The impact of that potential for all those lives to remain unscarred, for humanity to pick up its sorry carcass and emerge once more to toil away at life and love, that’s amazing.

Just imagine if 2 didn’t happen, if the sum of deaths were limited to 1. That’s still one entire life and everything which goes with it, it’s still wrong; but they’d have done the right thing. It’s a much better look, 1.

The other look is ugly.

1, Just one person.
2, A couple – a mother and a father.
4, Mom, Dad & the Kids.
8, Mom, Dad, Kids & Grand-kids.
16, Your office.
32, Your office, and a few families.
64, Maybe your company.
128, Your side of the street.
256, Your Village.
512, An entire office block of people.
1024, Unimaginable.

Unimaginable is the scale of suffering and death that we have at the moment, all over the world, every day is unimaginable. Don’t do the easy thing, don’t be a harbinger of the end of days, do the right thing, break the chain, don’t be an unimaginable monster.

If we all break the chain, we’re all doing the right thing, we’re heroes not monsters.

Spabbit on Covid-19, Hoarding, and Morals

Don’t get yer knickers off – this isn’t going to be the popular view, and is going to contrast to a lot of conventional wisdom.

Hoarding? Good / Bad / Ugly?

Can hoarding ever be a good thing? There is a popular graphic going around at the moment whereby it shows the impact of people staying at home, and not spreading the virus to others – it’s common sense, if you don’t come into contact with the other people, or objects infected, then you won’t become infected – it follows you won’t infect anyone else. How can hoarding help this? Simples – take the example of an early hoarder who got enough supplies to take them completely out of circulation for months, they’re doing exactly the right thing. Neither an infector or an infectee be!

There are various arguments against this approach, namely that the hoarding causes shops to be empty, some of the knock on consequences are that there are never enough supplies for people to hoard enough at the same time, some people will be too late joining the game, and there will be a scramble for the remaining goods until limits are imposed, or the supply chains move into high gear.

It’s fair. Now don’t just go off on one – it is fair. Those who have steadily prepared their resources so they have a ‘Z-Day’ plan will be, and indeed have used their resources to protect them and theirs from the inevitable scrambling around; conversely those who don’t have that forethought to have a ‘Z-Day’ plan… well those are the poor buggers who’ve got nothing but their day to day supplies.

The early thinkers. You know who you are, those who looked into a crystal ball, paid attention to the developing situation and took action early. Those people deserve their hoards, they took the time out and got in first – you can’t blame them, you can’t call them selfish, many of them will be responsible for the comfort of their families, friends, and in some cases their communities. At that point in time, there would hardly been any notice of the odd person buying a trolley full. Again, the early thinkers will be sorted, at home, not getting infected and more importantly, not infecting anyone else.

Hoarding – The Bad – it’s bad to hoard. Late. It’s bad to hoard late. Hoarding late in the game makes the situation worse. If you’re in this boat, and want to hoard at the 3 week mark in your region, you’re late. You’re going to be forced into the situation of queuing for supplies. Don’t. Be smart. Go shopping off peak, keep your distance, maybe buy a little extra each time you go out. You’re the ones at risk of spreading the virus, of becoming infected as you’re going out. If you’d prepared then you’d be fine. Get a ‘Z-Day’ plan, and keep it updated – this won’t be the last time Humanity will be in this situation – be prepared.

But but but… ‘I couldn’t help it’, I didn’t have the time / resources to prepare. Bollocks. Didn’t have the time? Shopping in the middle of the night. Nip out from work at lunch time, go in early and stop at the shops on the way in. Don’t be stupid, use different smaller shops (you know the big-boys always get sold out first), do it in stages. Not paid? Got savings, fucking use them – savings can always be built up again, Humanity can too, but painfully. Not got the money? Beg, borrow from where-ever – prepare. Monetary concerns are secondary to survival – you never know, the entity you borrowed from may die – harsh, but true.

Hoarding – the ugly. You fuckers, you know who you are. Last minute arsehole – you saw all this shit going down, viewed it all as a kind of docudrama, and realised entirely too late that you’re fucked. Panic! You, and the rest of your cohort immediately woke up and dashed to the shops, without a plan. You’re the fucking unorganised arseholes who will cause the demise of your immediate contacts, shame on you. There’s still hope for you though, if you survive this time, have a fucking plan next time, and don’t queue shoulder to shoulder at 06:00 waiting to get into fucking ASDA!

Finally – apart from the good, the bad, and the ugly – is hoarding morally wrong?

Depends. If you’re a comrade on the left, yes, it’s against what you stand for. If you’re a capitalist on top of the hill, then no, it’s how the system works. … And if you’re somewhere in the middle, well… that’s up to you – it’s a grey area and will be for many people. If you’re one of the people who are at the moment placing public service workers, hospital, NHS workers on a pedestal – beware that you’re pandering to popularist sentiments. Sure those NHS or public service workers are in the majority great people, in many cases putting themselves last so that society can continue, however they’re not the only ones going the extra mile in their roles and making day to day adjustments and sacrifices.

They do like everyone else have to have supplies, and yes, some of them will have hoarded in the good, bad, and ugliest forms; others will just not be prepared and will fail. They’re just like everyone else and will be performing their function, not saying that the function isn’t vital for many, but it’s a function. They signed up for it, just the same as members of the armed forces, emergency service workers, security staff, retail workers, sanitation workers, and factory workers – they all have their moment. Don’t forget some of the other people behind the scenes who grease the wheels to ensure it all goes to plan, the Mechanical and Electrical Engineers, the IT guys, the administrators, the equipment manufacturers – without them it all goes to shit.

Don’t pretend to suddenly appreciate the roles they do, just because we’re all up to our collective necks in shit, don’t do it. Appreciate them all the time, but don’t be blind, don’t elevate them above the common man / woman, they’re doing a job just as you are – but by all means feel free to show your appreciation. We’re all shitting ourselves.

The Dictionary According to Spabbit – CUM Special

Never let it be said that this format is straight laced, so I bring you the third installation of The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 3 – CUM Special!

For reference, the first two are: Spabbitisms… Expanding the language in all the wrong ways!, and The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 2 – Fucking ruining the language!

Fu Man Goo
Jizz Fizz
Penis Pudding
Flying Salty Demons
Nut Custard
Dick Drool
Pearl Jam
Daddy Batter
Salt Milk
Salty Batch
Fuck Muck
Pecker Pollen
Ball Barf
Love Mayo
Man Jam
Cock Snot
Wacky Racers
Man Glue
Weasel Pop
Population Paste
Ze Cumons
Fuck Fluff
Knuckle Children
Wood Milk
Dirt Pipe Milkshake
Prostate Pudding
Casper Load
Dick Sick
Sticky Mc Stick Stick

Following on from the sticky mess above, here lies some bonus content:

  • El Shaggio Extremeo – Fucked – “Brexit? – El Shaggio Extremeo!”
  • Mouse-Bummed – Comfortably numb – “I got well mouse-bummed on the weekend, not quite rat-arsed ;)”
  • The Fuckening – Inevitable Arrival of Chaos – “The day was going so well, then it happened – The Fuckening!”
  • Crotch-goblin – Child – “Look at that pile of Broken Condoms on the couch! Some of ’em have even evolved into crotch-goblins!”
  • Significunt – Cunt who thinks they’re more important than other cunts – “Look at that self important cunt over there – they ain’t special, they’re just significunt”
  • Dumple – One Dumpling to rule them all – “Look at that dumpling, it must surely be The Dumple, the mother of all dumplings!”
  • Catoplasam – Feline Snot – “Did that furry demon just sneeze and fart on me at the same time!? Look, I’m covered in Catoplasam”
  • The Shitening – When you’ve had a skin-full the previous day, wake up, and take a monster shit, and continue to shit until your body is convinced the evil alcohol has been banished – “Dude, I got smashed yesterday, no hangover, but I had the shitening!”

The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 2 – Fucking ruining the language!

Following on from “Spabbitisms… Expanding the language in all the wrong ways!”, Spabbit brings you The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 2 – Fucking ruining the language!

  • Ferp – Fuckery Perpetrator, or Perpetrator of Fuckery – Oi! You ferp! Stop with the fuckery already!
  • Chindian – Fusion food between Chinese and Indian – went down my mates house last night, he cooked the best madras with an egg fried rice!
  • Jarmarize – To rapidly dump the clothes of the working day and change into pyjamas – Can’t wait to Jarmarize and settle in my binch-cave
  • Fuzzogee – When growing facial (or other hair), and the urge to shave overcomes the desire to grow said hair – “Fuck man! What happened to your face-fungus?”… “Fuzzogee :(“
  • Cuntstipated – A overdose of cunts, generally in the work place – I got cuntstipated in the office today and snapped, those cunts ain’t laughing now!
  • Ectosnot – When you have a cold / manflu / manbola / bitch-sniffles, blowing your honker and it looks like something Slimer would leave behind
  • Wank Womble – Useless cuntmuffin-wafflecake – Fucking Wank Womble can’t even wank without fucking it up!
  • Walk and wank technology – Generic phrase which can be applied to any technology which is now mobile as opposed to fixed, example cordless phones greatly enabled phone sex amongst yuppies, and gave teenagers more privacy starting in the early 1990s
  • Wakkamole – Another word for Guacamole – Sounds way cooler, and reminds people (of a certain age range) of their broken childhoods trying to hit pop up stuffed animals in fairs, therefore bringing on massive amounts of disappointment
  • Alcogee – The point in the sober drunk sober cycle after “Is this shit working”, exactly where everything is shiny funny numb, and before you inhale a kebab and either sober up, or throw up – Dude! I’ve reached Alcogee – I need to stay here for hours!

You Fucking What!? & The Colour of Fuckery

You Fucking What! WTF is this all about? Does Fuckery have a colour? In today’s bout of brain dump to keyboard, I’ll point at the insanity of the world at large in order to maybe answer back.

“You Fucking What!” is a phrase I seem to utter with an increasing rate of abandon as the world is plunging into an infinite sea of Fuckery. I imagine the Fuckery to be coloured purple with an orange edge (don’t ask me why), kinda like peeking through hippy lenses of the 60’s. What Fuckery? Oh that’s a question and a half! Hummm… fucking all of it, the straight line Fuckery munching away at the heart of Humanity.

Just open your mind a moment, raise the semi permanent blast shutters for a moment and reveal the abject horrors of times present:

“You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don’t ever count on having both at once.” — Robert A. Heinlein. His books, his world were based in a sexist little side universe where things were slightly more black and white than ours. He was correct, you can’t have them at the same time. We’re not free, none of us (and by Us I refer to my frames of reference of the so-called-news, and my own personal interactions). We’re all penned in, penned in by laws made by our civil masters, by debts we take on, monetary and others, locked into an ever decreasing circle of Fuckery where Humanity is heading straight down the shitter.

We have an out of control petulant public schoolboy about become the leader of the country (UK), a man with one of the worst haircuts in the world, and he’s 7 seconds from pushing buttons which will have a direct impact on everyone (Brexit sandwich anyone?). Not to mention the Americans with their deeply divided society, where Trump is as black and white as they come. Trump = Borris. Are they interchangeable? Yes, No, Maybe. You Fucking What! Getityet? Horrifying isn’t it? And that’s just the larger picture!

Focusing on the smaller, more intimate picture of life at the moment, we have peace (mostly), but do we have freedom, or the illusion of freedom? Is freedom = anarchy? No and No. Society is on the edge of something new, we’re falling into the abyss in slo-mo and nobody is aware of the fact. Do I care? Well…. the immediate thought is that I’ll be dead by then, and no, but I can’t help be interested in what’s going to happen (the Human Condition, bright enough to know what’s going on, too dumb to do fuck all about it).

We don’t have freedom, we’re limited by taxes, laws, and common conventions of society. Most of us have bought into the idea of following the rules, obeying the laws and paying the taxes – that same “most of us” seem to form up in unison and frown at the others outside of our little circle of nice. Mentally at least I have an attitude of rule-breaking where the rules are just silly. Am I freer than the average person? No, of course not – I like not being in jail too much, money is a nice to have, comfort is even nicer. We’re all exchanging our freedom for comfort – it’s that simple. Can we all afford our comforts, as a state, a nation, and a species? Fuck-knows.

Are we living in They Live? Do we all need those sunglasses?

They Live (1988) 1h 34min | Action, Horror, Sci-Fi | 23 June 1989 (UK) Summary: A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allow him to wake up to the fact that aliens have taken over the Earth.
Countries: USALanguages: English

You Fucking What!?

@Spabbit Blog on the #BRExit result

imageI was scrolling through the blog, and came across the below article from 2016… I think that now, here years later, it has even more meaning. Blip in the timeline, or chaos on a stick with ketchup? We’ll be finding out soon – watch this country shaped space 😉

Today, the UK has voted to leave the EU, the UK Prime Minister, David Cameron (A public-schoolboy upper society product who’s never lived in real-life) has resigned.

There is a lot of chatter about this – a lot of it is bollocks and made up stats – we in the UK need to wait for the dust to settle before jumping to any conclusions.

Here is some proportion / perspective – The EU has only existed since 1956, we’ve only been in it since 1975… The U.K. began in 1284, was formalised in 1536 between England and Wales, with Scotland joining in 1707, and Northern Ireland in 1921.

You really think it’s all down hill from here? History points the other way, and you can’t ignore hundreds of years of historical trends for less than half a century – is this merely a blip in the larger time line?


Random and Old, or Old and Random?

We’re all getting older, right? (I’m talking about the standard humans here, not some mystical beings)

We’re all getting more random, right? (All of us, or just some randoms?)

Was I born at the wrong time, or was the wrong time when I was born? 🙂

At this point, you’re probably thinking ‘bullshit’, and you’d be right in some reality. Your bullshit detector would be right on the money. Except, it’s all true.

I’ve noticed, most recently and with an accelerating pace, that I’m getting more random, and older. As the premise of this article goes, I’m just not sure what’s coming first, or it’s just a coincidence that they just happen to be occurring at the same time. So let’s explore some of the random.

Music is like a canary in this instance, for me. When I was younger there was a distinct divide between old and new music, between classical, and pop. I’ve recently learned a new phrase “Low-Fi Soul” – to have a musical (or other) taste which is older than you are. I’m going lower by the day – my tastes are rapidly evolving to appreciate music either from, or in the styles of the 50s/60s – 10 to 20 years before I was even conceived. I think it’s driving my wife nuts, but that’s nothing new. It’s costing me a fortune, and I’m wondering where, or when (sic) it’ll stop. “Marriage is finding that special person to annoy for the rest of your life”…

Talking of the the music, here are a few fantastic examples of modern artists turning back the clock with modern fidelity. Hi-Fi, Lo-Fi hits :). I fucking love these…

And here are some random thoughts which have occurred, sometimes whilst sober (shocking, right?)

  • If, when you were 18, you had a detailed and accurate window into a moment in your 40’s (Assuming you’ve made it that far), would you self-terminate, or carry on regardless, not knowing the pain you’d go through between the two points?
  • Do you consider life is a shitpile, or it just is?
  • As you get older, does the world get smaller, or do you just see more of the picture.
  • Does seeing more of the picture mean you care less about the details and the missed brush strokes?
  • It’s all so fucking zen.
  • Why are you always calm in other people’s emergencies, but seldom in your own?
  • Are old people just grumpy, or have they simply used up their quota of fucks – Here, behold the field where I grow my fucks, you’ll note it is barren.
  • “It’s only money”.
  • Can’t decide if men or women are more cunty? Yup.
  • Everyday is actually a fucking school day. When it stops, are you dying, or simply learning about death, in depth?
  • When you know everything you need, it’s usually too late.
  • Ignorance is a rogue.
  • All problems can be resolved (or covered up) with enough money, more so as time progresses – what has humanity become?
  • Risk and memories are flip sides of the same coin, one cannot exist without the other. Courage and fear. Evil and no-so-evil.
  • Life: A kind of trick.
  • Talking of Evil. It’s the small bits of evil which are the most satisfying. Try little evil today, it’ll make you smile.
  • Drink wine.

Rantlets – Road Rage, Speed Cameras, Speed Bumps

Rantlets – don’t you just love a good rant? Well, here are some mini rants – Agree or not, at least have a laugh, you twisted little bugger.

Just as a strict disclaimer… If you’re offended by this, assuredly none of the below (Or anything on this site) is targeted at you as an individual. Nothing here is anything-phobic, or rasist, or anything baring a good rant and dark-sardonic humour. If you don’t like industrial level swearing which would make satan bush, then scroll on by and don’t whine that you weren’t warned. If you’re offended, scroll on by and enjoy your life. If you laughed at this article – I like you 🙂

Continue reading Rantlets – Road Rage, Speed Cameras, Speed Bumps

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt

Reasons why I’m not a c*nt.

This is going to be a short article.

Erm… maybe.

Yeeeee nah, I’m a c*nt really.

Click the link below. You’d better like swearing though. There’s a fuckton of swearing, and for the less educated amongst you, that’s like 1000 shittons. So if you don’t like professional industrial level swearing which would put a roughneck to shame, or if you’re a snowflake, then scroll on by and have a nice life, otherwise read on.

Continue reading Reasons why I’m not a c*nt