Category: All-Posts

Spabbit’s top words & phrases to be deleted! #Rant

Fair play - This one sucks arse, it's the ultimate low-brow, knuckle-dragging version of supposedly showing respect for achievement. Take your language beyond the secondary school play ground level!

Nom - Any adult using this word (and any other fucking baby-talk) outside of cooing to a baby needs to be fucking shot. Eating noises are beyond redemption, and using a word to mean such? YouFuckingWhat!… Continue Reading

Bastards Freezing!

OK so here in the UK we’re currently in the icy grip of winter… and by winter I mean the temperature could drop to say -10℃, but wet with it which I’m told feels a fuckton colder than places were it actually is -40℃ (yes I’m talking in centigrade for any Americans reading). So ‘bastard freezing’ is a phrase often uttered here…. I decided to take it to a more formal setting!

Single-Bastard 🧊 You're shivering, getting into bed hurts until it warms up under the sheets a little. Nothing too serious.

Duo-bastard 🧊🧊🚀 Clothes are a requirement, nipples might be mistaken for cruise-missiles in launch mode… Continue Reading

Spabbity Cooking Tips!

I've spent my 10,000 hours in the kitchen, not through particularly trying, but simply because I'm old, and like cooking. Cooking for me is great, but only when I have enough time to enjoy it, which isn't easy with a full time job etc! So here is my collection of tips - these have been acquired over those 10,000+ hours and, well every day is a school day - never close your mind to doing something differently. If you make use of even one of them, then my job is done :) … Continue Reading

Motivational shit



Yeah, you’ll notice a lack of motivational shit here.

This is because I am / am not a c*nt; depending on your view point. Yes, this is a #rant, don't like rants... off you fuck to a quiet corner of the interwebs, otherwise read on!

"Kid, life is pain..." A well known quote from a well known Gena Davies film.

Her character is right - life is pain, and the only bargaining chip is time, it is literally the only thing we have, no matter what your Job and who you are - the only thing you’re getting paid for is the minutes of your life, and they’re in pathetically short supply. Trouble is, your function isn’t unique, and you get chucked into a random labour pool where the rate per minute of your life is largely beyond your control- this is largely known as life sucks donkey-balls… Continue Reading

High Functioning Anxiety



At a young age, [read: around 30 years back] I was diagnosed with anxiety - the doc at the time, a general practitioner, gave me some helpful meds, namely Valerian. Valerian supplied in the form of Kalms tends to move my personal perspective back a few feet, so it's like I'm driving my mind, body, and emotions from behind a firewall. That moment in the docs introduced an old-faithful coping mechanism. You will read in other places on the interwebs that there is no cure for anxiety, and I'd have to agree at the moment having an awareness for 30 years.

Awareness is one thing, coping is another, and further awareness and recognition is like the proverbial shaft of sunlight to the core of your being. This article is about recognising high functioning anxiety, and the coping mechanisms I've been unconsciously using for my entire adult life … Continue Reading

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.



Some of you will recognise that quote from the movie Blade Runner - it's one of the hall mark moments in movie history, something which will never be captured again... which is the point of this article.

At the time of writing, I'm in my late 40s - this means that a metric fuckton of change has occurred in my life. Watching a Bill Bailey recording last night - Bill reminded me of some of the things now largely items of the past - if you're in the right age group for this article, and are scratching your head, then you're probably not British, just chill - some of these are sooo British, they all have a cup of tea and a cucumber sarnie at 4pm on the dot. … Continue Reading

Religious Abuse & John Lennon with his Imagination


The whole world should listen to the song Imagine, and more importantly pay attention. So that's that, or is it?

This is a unusual post for the site, a peek into the inner-Spabbit. So normally I keep my emotions in the strictest of control, set in concrete behind nuclear-grade blast shields - I am the level of calm which is only achieved after been thoroughly broken by life and the universe, multiple times, and then put back together again. So the emotions - they're blocked off, however a small trickle may escape through the tiniest gaps in the shields... those who know me will attest to my continual background leakage of arcane swearing and cursing - that helps. So enter in to the world the genius which was, which is John Lennon and Imagine. Imagine is one of the songs which will open those blast-shields, and let the emotional wreck see the light of day, so read on for a glimpse into the inner Spabbit. … Continue Reading