Do the right thing, not the easy thing.

This is a public service rant, one with an impassioned cause. You’re welcome.

These are the times in which we all need to make hard choices, the right choices. In making the right choices, individuals may come off worse from the fight; some may pay the ultimate and horrific price of dying alone – away from any shred of human interaction or support. Loved ones, friends, families, they’re all separated by something which can’t be touched, something invisible, something void of emotion, and with a singular deadly purpose. It’s human tragedy at best, and in the end will be an enduring testament to the resilience and sacrifice of those among us who have done the right thing, not the easy thing.

Those doing the right thing are standing up, or aside as the need arises, ensuring the safety of theirs and the wider human race as and when required. You know who you are, your life isn’t the same any more, and the drastic realisation of the pending mortalities surrounding you has struck like a spear to the heart. Fight or Flight, only this is Support, or Isolate. Doing the easy thing would be to bury your head in the sand, continue life as if nothing had happened, but those who are doing the easy thing – they’re death incarnate, wearing an invisible cloak spreading this plague among humanity without remorse. Shame on you, you monsters, doing the easy thing.

There’s hope, always there is hope. Don’t do the easy thing, stop and think of those who you’re endangering, the lives you’ll touch, and destroy. Just stop. Just keep your distance. It’s not about you. Those doing the easy thing, paying the price with their individual mortality, they’re selfish beyond words – they’ll probably be loved and valued, and their deaths will hurt others as surely as a stab wound to the heart. Of course those recently deceased who did the easy thing (the monsters), they’ll inevitably have been responsible for the deaths of thousands.

One break in the chain of infection. One break is amazing. The impact of that potential for all those lives to remain unscarred, for humanity to pick up its sorry carcass and emerge once more to toil away at life and love, that’s amazing.

Just imagine if 2 didn’t happen, if the sum of deaths were limited to 1. That’s still one entire life and everything which goes with it, it’s still wrong; but they’d have done the right thing. It’s a much better look, 1.

The other look is ugly.

1, Just one person.
2, A couple – a mother and a father.
4, Mom, Dad & the Kids.
8, Mom, Dad, Kids & Grand-kids.
16, Your office.
32, Your office, and a few families.
64, Maybe your company.
128, Your side of the street.
256, Your Village.
512, An entire office block of people.
1024, Unimaginable.

Unimaginable is the scale of suffering and death that we have at the moment, all over the world, every day is unimaginable. Don’t do the easy thing, don’t be a harbinger of the end of days, do the right thing, break the chain, don’t be an unimaginable monster.

If we all break the chain, we’re all doing the right thing, we’re heroes not monsters.

Spabbit on Covid-19, Hoarding, and Morals

Don’t get yer knickers off – this isn’t going to be the popular view, and is going to contrast to a lot of conventional wisdom.

Hoarding? Good / Bad / Ugly?

Can hoarding ever be a good thing? There is a popular graphic going around at the moment whereby it shows the impact of people staying at home, and not spreading the virus to others – it’s common sense, if you don’t come into contact with the other people, or objects infected, then you won’t become infected – it follows you won’t infect anyone else. How can hoarding help this? Simples – take the example of an early hoarder who got enough supplies to take them completely out of circulation for months, they’re doing exactly the right thing. Neither an infector or an infectee be!

There are various arguments against this approach, namely that the hoarding causes shops to be empty, some of the knock on consequences are that there are never enough supplies for people to hoard enough at the same time, some people will be too late joining the game, and there will be a scramble for the remaining goods until limits are imposed, or the supply chains move into high gear.

It’s fair. Now don’t just go off on one – it is fair. Those who have steadily prepared their resources so they have a ‘Z-Day’ plan will be, and indeed have used their resources to protect them and theirs from the inevitable scrambling around; conversely those who don’t have that forethought to have a ‘Z-Day’ plan… well those are the poor buggers who’ve got nothing but their day to day supplies.

The early thinkers. You know who you are, those who looked into a crystal ball, paid attention to the developing situation and took action early. Those people deserve their hoards, they took the time out and got in first – you can’t blame them, you can’t call them selfish, many of them will be responsible for the comfort of their families, friends, and in some cases their communities. At that point in time, there would hardly been any notice of the odd person buying a trolley full. Again, the early thinkers will be sorted, at home, not getting infected and more importantly, not infecting anyone else.

Hoarding – The Bad – it’s bad to hoard. Late. It’s bad to hoard late. Hoarding late in the game makes the situation worse. If you’re in this boat, and want to hoard at the 3 week mark in your region, you’re late. You’re going to be forced into the situation of queuing for supplies. Don’t. Be smart. Go shopping off peak, keep your distance, maybe buy a little extra each time you go out. You’re the ones at risk of spreading the virus, of becoming infected as you’re going out. If you’d prepared then you’d be fine. Get a ‘Z-Day’ plan, and keep it updated – this won’t be the last time Humanity will be in this situation – be prepared.

But but but… ‘I couldn’t help it’, I didn’t have the time / resources to prepare. Bollocks. Didn’t have the time? Shopping in the middle of the night. Nip out from work at lunch time, go in early and stop at the shops on the way in. Don’t be stupid, use different smaller shops (you know the big-boys always get sold out first), do it in stages. Not paid? Got savings, fucking use them – savings can always be built up again, Humanity can too, but painfully. Not got the money? Beg, borrow from where-ever – prepare. Monetary concerns are secondary to survival – you never know, the entity you borrowed from may die – harsh, but true.

Hoarding – the ugly. You fuckers, you know who you are. Last minute arsehole – you saw all this shit going down, viewed it all as a kind of docudrama, and realised entirely too late that you’re fucked. Panic! You, and the rest of your cohort immediately woke up and dashed to the shops, without a plan. You’re the fucking unorganised arseholes who will cause the demise of your immediate contacts, shame on you. There’s still hope for you though, if you survive this time, have a fucking plan next time, and don’t queue shoulder to shoulder at 06:00 waiting to get into fucking ASDA!

Finally – apart from the good, the bad, and the ugly – is hoarding morally wrong?

Depends. If you’re a comrade on the left, yes, it’s against what you stand for. If you’re a capitalist on top of the hill, then no, it’s how the system works. … And if you’re somewhere in the middle, well… that’s up to you – it’s a grey area and will be for many people. If you’re one of the people who are at the moment placing public service workers, hospital, NHS workers on a pedestal – beware that you’re pandering to popularist sentiments. Sure those NHS or public service workers are in the majority great people, in many cases putting themselves last so that society can continue, however they’re not the only ones going the extra mile in their roles and making day to day adjustments and sacrifices.

They do like everyone else have to have supplies, and yes, some of them will have hoarded in the good, bad, and ugliest forms; others will just not be prepared and will fail. They’re just like everyone else and will be performing their function, not saying that the function isn’t vital for many, but it’s a function. They signed up for it, just the same as members of the armed forces, emergency service workers, security staff, retail workers, sanitation workers, and factory workers – they all have their moment. Don’t forget some of the other people behind the scenes who grease the wheels to ensure it all goes to plan, the Mechanical and Electrical Engineers, the IT guys, the administrators, the equipment manufacturers – without them it all goes to shit.

Don’t pretend to suddenly appreciate the roles they do, just because we’re all up to our collective necks in shit, don’t do it. Appreciate them all the time, but don’t be blind, don’t elevate them above the common man / woman, they’re doing a job just as you are – but by all means feel free to show your appreciation. We’re all shitting ourselves.

The Dictionary According to Spabbit – CUM Special

Never let it be said that this format is straight laced, so I bring you the third installation of The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 3 – CUM Special!

For reference, the first two are: Spabbitisms… Expanding the language in all the wrong ways!, and The Dictionary According to Spabbit – Volume 2 – Fucking ruining the language!

Fu Man Goo
Jizz Fizz
Penis Pudding
Flying Salty Demons
Nut Custard
Dick Drool
Pearl Jam
Daddy Batter
Salt Milk
Salty Batch
Sploogeski
Fuck Muck
Pecker Pollen
Ball Barf
Love Mayo
Man Jam
Cock Snot
Wacky Racers
Man Glue
Legnogg
Weasel Pop
Population Paste
Pugwash
Ze Cumons
Fuck Fluff
Knuckle Children
Wood Milk
Dirt Pipe Milkshake
Prostate Pudding
Casper Load
Dick Sick
Cockfetti
Sticky Mc Stick Stick


Following on from the sticky mess above, here lies some bonus content:

  • El Shaggio Extremeo – Fucked – “Brexit? – El Shaggio Extremeo!”
  • Mouse-Bummed – Comfortably numb – “I got well mouse-bummed on the weekend, not quite rat-arsed ;)”
  • The Fuckening – Inevitable Arrival of Chaos – “The day was going so well, then it happened – The Fuckening!”
  • Crotch-goblin – Child – “Look at that pile of Broken Condoms on the couch! Some of ’em have even evolved into crotch-goblins!”
  • Significunt – Cunt who thinks they’re more important than other cunts – “Look at that self important cunt over there – they ain’t special, they’re just significunt”
  • Dumple – One Dumpling to rule them all – “Look at that dumpling, it must surely be The Dumple, the mother of all dumplings!”
  • Catoplasam – Feline Snot – “Did that furry demon just sneeze and fart on me at the same time!? Look, I’m covered in Catoplasam”
  • The Shitening – When you’ve had a skin-full the previous day, wake up, and take a monster shit, and continue to shit until your body is convinced the evil alcohol has been banished – “Dude, I got smashed yesterday, no hangover, but I had the shitening!”