Bald is the way – do it today!


Middle aged (or any age?) man? Yes? – Beard? Yes? – Fucking be done with it, shave it off and enjoy!

Yes, the Spabbit is now sporting the cue-ball look on top. For me, it came to the point where there was no resistance to the comb when sorting out my hair in mornings, or any other times to be fair. Going back 20 years ago I had biker-hair down to the crack of me arse, coupled with a certain physical condition meant that I was sometimes yelled at by the inebriated in the very complimentary way of “Oi! Meatloaf!”. I think those times, and that hair-style may have meant that my fore-head rose to a 12-head, and at the front, in the glare of the naked sun, I may have blinded passing aircraft or at least confused the odd starling.

So yes, one night whilst under the influence of various high-grade alcohols, I bought all the kit after a whole five minutes interweb-based research, and the following day the plan was implemented. There were cries of “Do it gradually”, but those cries faded into the void as did my youth! So… the famous battle-cry of “Fuck it!” was issued, and as per my usual modus-operandi, full-bore flank-speed was engaged. Bald. Yes. Fucking awesome. Wish I’d done it many many years ago. What liberation, what an easy life, what a saving in shampoo!

So, how? A couple of products did it for me, Enter stage baldy: The Pitbull Gold Pro, a beast of a bastard of a skull shaver – four rotating shaver heads with a battery-motor pack positioned so you can hold it comfortably, and either wet or dry-shave your skull in under two minutes. I highly recommend this if you’re not gonna go down the barber salon route.

The second – when you’re settled in, and wanna go to the next level, a Gillette Mach 3 or other similar product, and some shaving gel. Butter that bonce up, and go shave. Don’t be afraid to go against the grain, it will get you to that skin smooth with little or no stubble. You’d be brave to do this each shave – I only do this once a week most of the time.

Benefits:

  • Free of aging badly
  • No combing, conditioning, barbers
  • A massive time-saving
  • No fucking products
  • Sexy! đŸ˜‰
  • Convenient
  • Hats!
  • Near filthy childs? – no nits!

Hazards

  • Possible sun-burn – mitigated with hats!
  • Possible shaving rash – mitigated by not being a fucktard
  • Nothing to soak up the sweat – mitigated by using a cloth / hat
  • Really, there are hazards… erm… nope

In summary – do it, do it now, don’t wait, start enjoying life!

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