Rantlets – Murder, Freakiness & The young who can’t use a telephone

So – Rantlets – A series of mini-rants on random topics

I do love a smash of random rants – good for the soul.

These Rantlets have been brewing for a while, eking out their thin veil of truth, trust, and a bucket full of sardonic-mode moral outrage. I’m letting them roam into the thoughts of the public. Keep Calm, and RANT on!

Just as a strict disclaimer… If you’re offended by this, assuredly none of the below (Or anything on this site) is targeted at you as an individual. Nothing here is anything-phobic, or rasist, or anything baring a good rant and dark-sardonic humour. If you’re offended, scroll on by and enjoy your life. If you laughed at this article – I like you 🙂


The reticence of people to go on a murder spree when offered the opportunity. I’ve watched enough Dexter, I could make it work!

Why can’t I just murder those annoying fucks. You all know the types, the fucking know it all bastard wank-wombles who infest humanity. The boring bastards with no sense of humour, the snide comments flow without recourse from their rabid shitholes of mouths, “oh you can’t do this or that – why did they get special treatment, why can’t I sit on my arse and collect the same rewards as those who actually work for it” – We all know some fucking freeloaders like that!

The wank-wombles are joined by the equally nasty fucking neighbours, the ones who shit the same as you do, but those fuckers think they’re better than everyone else. My default response to those fuckers is “Go fuck yourself”, mind saying that, they probably do!

I say kill ’em all – I say I’ve watched enough Dexter – who’s with me? 😉


Now this is one close to my heart. I think everyone is a freak at heart. I think we’re all constrained by the wider public aspect of society, we all act in public as the people the world expects. We get the odd exception where the freak gets exposed, the various freak-topics enjoy 5 minutes in the limelight of the news-cycle, but generally the freak gets shoved under the carpet of so called decency.

It’s getting bad now, I look at people doing their thing, talking to others, standing around, working away, living their perfectly normal every day lives, and I can’t help but think what freak is hiding under the trap-door of their fetid and furtive minds. I look at the 30 something mother with a bondage fetish which would either fascinate or freak out some of those around her. I look at the respectable modern office worker who seems to know the best dogging spots. The skilled worker who I know likes to get off on insex (If you don’t know, don’t Google this in work!). It’s the whole spectrum of humanity, and it’s very distracting. Why can’t everyone just relax their freak and enjoy life?

Freakiness is not a static thing for most people – Pornhub (Or any given porn site) is an example (This was recently highlighted in The Fix hosted by Jimmy Carr!), a person will start out with pretty vanilla porn, and when that’s no longer hitting the mark, it just gets progressively (Most people would say “worse” at this point), kinkier. One minute there’s a MILF playing with ‘stuff’, then before you know it the MILF is tied up in a dungeon somewhere having the time of her life! BDSM “Never” = About six months in my estimation. Don’t be in denial, we’ve all been there, just society frowns on admitting this stuff!

The point of this rantlet – Now is the in-between time – fast forward 50 years – the world is either going to be one glorious freak-fest, or everyone’s freak is going to be underground, trapped yearning for all encompassing release and a grand cum-fest. Fucking trap-door of public society – makes the world so much more boring than it should be!

Just let your inner freak out once and a while and have some fun – if everyone did that, the world would be a better and safer place. Just as a point, there are certain things which should never see the light of day, and those people, well they’d be better off lying in a ditch bleeding to death somewhere – in fact those things which shall remain nameless aren’t just crimes, they’re wrong on every level, and not in the same universe of ‘inner freakiness’!

The young who can’t use a telephone

So many times, I utter the phrase “It’s a generation thing”, so many times I correct myself that the entire collection of multiple generations classed as “millennials” are perfectly capable of using a telephone, and by using I mean as a fucking phone, with sounds which are spoken by both people on the call. After all it is the millennials who power the modern urban workhouse equivalents we all know in ubiquitous terms as call-centres.

So what the fuck is wrong with half of them that when faced with the most mundane task in the world of speaking to another human, for example arrange the transfer of goods – i.e. ordering food, that they break out in a cold sweat. How is it that these fucking snowflake-buggering-txt-snarfing-smurfs can’t speak to another human on the phone? I’ve known some of them actually go without stuff rather than swallow the pill of speaking on the phone. Fuck me – I spent so much time talking to my far-flung friends when I was their age… I just can’t comprehend their mindsets.

Look, you little knob warts – get over yourselves and just live your lives, interact with other people, you’ll be pleasantly surprised (Most of the time). It will benefit you all. And no, it’s not courageous to overcome an irrational phobia of using a phone – it’s fucking normal life. Courageous is giving of yourself to a greater cause. Learn loyalty, honour, duty, and respect – you’ll then see how silly your closeted little lives have become.

Ahhhh… That feels better… See everyone needs a small collection of rantlets every now and again! 🙂