Today I stumbled upon summarized trash-science piece headlined “Eating fried chicken every day could mean you die earlier, according to a new study”.

Oh dear.

A internal conversation was immediately kicked off in my mind, it went something like this:

• Voice 1:
  Oh shit, I’ve eaten a LOT of fried chicken!
• Voice 2:
  It was delicious.
• Voice 1:
  But if you carry on, you’ll die.
• Voice 2:
  I welcome the prospect of death by fried chicken.
• Voice 2:
  I want KFC, now.
• Voice 1:
  Well you can’t – it’s not even 7 in the morning.
• Voice 2:
  Fuck.
• Voice 1:
  Meh.
• Voice 2:
  *silently plots to have a KFC later*

You think that’s bad? I have to put up with that 24/7 – and sometimes, I don’t even know what those inner voices are plotting. Fuckers.

Oh, and don’t even think of Googling “Killer Chicken”, apparently in some-place somewhere it’s a thing:

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