When the fuck did I become an old man: the encore – le bis!

So here we are five years from the 1st “When the fuck did I become an old man?” article… We’re already at part two, La deuxième manche!. It only seemed like yesterday @Spabbit was born, now it’s almost 10, a fucking decade in the making, and I’m a decade older! (Yes, I tenaciously made it this far lol). So here it is: When the fuck did I become an even older old man!

Video Game Retirement: I’m in the cohort of Gen-X aging not gracefully, and still playing video games – Why Mario, that’s a fine walking-stick you have there!

Hair: Once upon a time I had a full head of hair, even long biker style locks – now my hair…. well it’s playing hide and seek. Mostly fucking hide!

Remember the important stuff: It now takes longer to figure out why I’ve gone to the kitchen, or any other place, but don’t worry, it’s only my brain making room for important stuff like 80s song lyrics – Mmmmmm 80s!

Fucking “Thirtagers”: I’ve reached the age where people in their 30’s are childs – they look at me like some kind of aged hippy. (I am, but what the actual fuck lol)

Fashionably Comfortable: Over night, I shit you not, the wardrobe became a fierce battle between fashion and comfort. Spoiler: Comfort won and continues to win. Every. Single. Time.

The Sound of Music: I’ve started making involuntary sound effects when getting up from a chair, or breathing. Each one is a unique musical note. Envy my ‘leet skills 😉

My marvellous WFLs – Weather Forecasting Limbs: My fucking knees now predict the weather more accurately than the bastard weather man. Remember Michael Fish, anyone? Yeah, my knees are better!

Recounting Memories: A trip down memory lane isn’t just nostalgic, it’s also a complete fucking mystery tour. “Did that really happen or was it a drug-alcohol induced fantasy?”

Techno WHAT!: Gen-X VCR programming was a fucking art form – legend has it there were even doctorates in the field. Never assume the Gen-X pensioner will fail with technology, we just delight in winding you youngsters up – we’re teh fucking techno-ninjas. That’s right, grand-childs, your grand-pa and grand-ma can run rings around ya techno-thumbs, and txt faster than you on a keypad which is now an antique 😉

Aspirational TV shows & movies: Real Genius, Pump Up The Volume, The Goonies, The Breakfast Club – all blueprints for the lives you fantasised about, now it’s more like One Foot In the Grave – “I don’t (fucking) believe it!”

The ‘Cool’ Old Dilemma: Trying to be the ‘cool’ referencing The Smiths, only to realize that those kids in their 30s think Morrissey is a brand of tea… Fucking tea!

Generation X-tremely Tired: Gen-X is known for its sardonic apathy. Now, just genuinely too fucking tired to care.

From Angst to Antacids: Angst has been replaced by Heartburn – Gaviscon has replaced a shot before bed 😉