Spabbit’s Fuck-it List

Things to never do again, or in the first instance. Doing what Spabbit says on the tin – ranting.

France
Oh yes, France. There is a long history of British piss-taking and generally friendly abuse in the direction of France, and I’m proud to uphold that venerable tradition. France is well… flat and peasant filled – I know, I spent enough time there. The cities are just as filthy as anything this side of the channel, although in my opinion, a porcelain throne is better than a stinking hole in the ground – not to bring this article to toilet humour, but hey, I’m British 😉 French food… oh wow, there may be experiences to be had where the food has taste (outside of sea food, which I detest!), however I’ve yet to encounter anything great about French cuisine which can’t be easily beaten. British is best! /plays Abba Waterloo.

Sprouts
This is surely the work of the christian god, you know the sky-fairy who pledged even new born babies with guilt and sin to spend all eternity repenting for some mythical human eating an apple, a talking snake, plus some incest and other made-up shit 😉 What evil fucktard thought fucking sprouts a good idea… just fucking wow – force fed to me (and every child ever), tasting of metal tainted cabbage, just fucking disgusting! Do they really exist, or are they result of a cabbage missing all the delicious space inside?!

Religion
You fucking what!? The greatest force of evil in the known universe, responsible for more death and suffering of Humanity than anything else. Those who know me personally will attest to the impact Religion had on my life so far, and evil just about starts the litany of crimes against myself in the name of sky-fairies. Fuck religion.

Saving Private Ryan, Titanic, Les Misérables – Touchy Feely Movies
Fuck off… just fuck off with your technicolour wallowing in the shit-pit. Don’t care, don’t wanna know the sob stories. If I wanna be depressed, I remind myself that the Welsh Labour Party have power in the world – dark times – we don’t need no reminders!

London (Nodnol)
The supposed capital of the United Kingdom – these days it’s a separate state with separate laws. I think the last time I graced that festering hive of scum and villainy with my presence was around 32 years back, and from the headlines it hasn’t changed for the better in the intervening years.

Foreign Travel
Nope, just fucking nope! Despite my cherished ranting about the state of affairs in the world at large, the UK is still the best place in the world, the place where I grew up, home for want of a better word. Better food than France, better civilisation than most other places (and as a cheeky side, we didn’t have to throw any tea in the harbour 😉 ), better laws, better freedoms (so long as the Labour party and the wokarati don’t win), and just fucking better than the other places!

Christmas
For those of us, and believe me there are a fuckton of us, who don’t believe in the sky fairies, and who have received copious amounts of abuse at the hands of the christian religions – this is a time of pain, a time of seeing innocent children brainwashed – it’s the thin end of the evil wedge. “Oh, but it’s for the children!” I hear that continually… more like fucking child abuse – there are plenty of times during childhood that the world can seem ‘magical’ to a child, why do many see fit to outright lie to children, fostering a belief system which is morally and ethically repugnant when viewed in the cold light of day. Like the overall umbrella covering religion, this whole thing makes me sick – no matter how many times it’s said that “it’s not religious anymore, it’s commercial” – it has the name of a fucking sky-fairy in it, how can it not be religious, and therefore inherently evil in nature?

Further on the subject of Christmas – the stress it causes families is verging on criminal in nature, how many divorces happen at that time of year, how many arguments are kicked off by ‘the festive season’, how many children end up with single parent families, how much hypocrisy is exposed – all for nothing. End of year celebrations and reflection – yes, perfectly Human and understood – Sky-Fairy-induced-stress – fucking keep it.

The recent story featuring the royals is a prime example… Feeding the homeless a meal… Big fucking deal, bozos – you have the power to virtually end homelessness, to stop the waste of humanity, of individuals, of people, yet instead it’s your choice to do little more than a single fucking meal as a publicity stunt. This is no way to earn respect. If you don’t care the majority of the time, like most people don’t, then don’t pretend otherwise – simples. I know this may seem like the most brutal form of honestly, but hey at least I’m not hiding behind the veneer of feeding a single meal, and claiming a fucking halo.