Here are some random musings, bite-sized pieces of stuff, sometimes with free serving of rant on the side. Read for amusement only, don’t be a sad monkey, we have money and digital watches. So the list starts:

• Google Searches – your unofficial biography!

  Have you ever considered all that may be left one day is your Google searches? Those idle curios, those rabid gems of exploration, those are a vastly sped up version of what would have been perhaps months of library reading, months of evolutionary thought condensed into mere seconds – the childs of today will never know the old method, the old ways of burning precious months of your life away obtaining knowledge the hard way!

  At such a horrific rate we must progress, perhaps all is lost in the years skipped between the seconds of your Google searches – are we cheating mental evolution or is this merely our predetermined destiny played out in blinks?

• What if Hitler’s first name was Keith?

Names are important! – I mean, it’s Adolf saying (not making of actual history!), “let’s invade Poland”… And he wasn’t Adolf, he was Keith, maybe they’d have all been like “Fuck off, Keith”… I mean there are pre conceived perceptions of people with certain names, Keith, Gordon, Karen, Chad, Heather. Can you imagine a President or Prime Minister called “Karen”… oh my. Of course we should all grow up…. but no… lol 🙂

• How to solve the world’s tax problems!

  I know, you’re thinking here is the solution, straight from the Spabbit-hole! Why had nobody thought of this before? – Not enough cheeseburgers, alcohol, or memes – they’re what make the Spabbit-go-round 🙂 Anyhow, tax, and the ultimate solution: Porn Tax, or more specifically wank-tax!

  So, tax the porn, tax the end result of the porn, either by pay per view, or chip in the wrist and a smart phone app… The youngsters will hate the tax, however the old-age-wankers will love it because it’ll be a successful function check of the sex-bits. Porn tax is the way to go (wank)…

• What actually is the future?!

  The future is merely the projection of the now seen through the prism of your imperfect memory. Alcohol often improves the prism.

  This effect is know as Beer Goggles.

  All hail Beer Goggles.

  Also, a note on the past and future:

  Be with the Now and become not consumed by the illusion of the past that has already gone and the future which may never come. Now is the only thing that is real and true. #thereisnospoon

  In case you’re thinking of changing things, just because, remember that change is sloppy, and not an absolute state…

• Don’t be so fucking cheap!

  Buy quality. Never buy cheap, unless you’re going for a disposable purchase. Buying cheap will cost you more in the long run, trapping you in poverty. Of course there are inevitably times where you can’t buy quality, times of lean survival, those times you just have to make do, but don’t make do forever – make the leap to quality-land and improve. You never see the rich man with cheap shoes, as expensive shoes can be repaired and will last forever – reference Sir Terry & Samuel Vimes for this!.

  This is also the direct experience of the Spabbit – so don’t be so fucking cheap all the time, your future self will love you for it!

• Humans: Emotional Vampires!

  Have you ever considered the Human Condition, not the simple one – bright enough to know what’s going on, too stupid to do anything about it, but the other one – the one where we’re all emotional vampires, feeding gleefully, sucking the emotions from those around us, those on the silver-screen, and generally other humans?

  The Vampirism covers us all from the early years right up until the point in later life when our personal fuck-reservoirs run permanently dry and barren. See it’s like this, butt – we all feed off each other – there are ultimately no emotions (like quantum physics) which aren’t eventually influenced or fed from outside – we all look to others (even if you don’t admit it) for approval and support, we all look to those who are fountains of laughter to cheer us up, opposingly we look to the sad, for they are sad and we might not be, ultimately making us less sad, or not. If you’ve stayed with this paragraph of gibberish and followed my thoughts so far – you’re quite insane – well done.

  It’s a strange thing to think of thinking, of the processes which happen normally unobserved, unhindered, and without steerage in the shadows of the mind – those moments between blinks – however those thoughts are the invisible back-seat drivers which influence the direction in which we all eventually travel… Be aware of your inner emotional vampire, maybe tell them to fuck off occasionally 😉