Rant: The Spabbit is back & The state of 2021

Disclaimer: This article is largely ranty. If you don't wanna read the rant, off you fuck to a boring corner of the interwebs.

COVID, decline in mental health, and having a bloody busy life has slowed down (read: glacial level) the pace of the Spabbit posts... win some, lose some, the Spabbit is still here, spabbiting up the interwebs. Now for some rants, one of the main topics of this site.

Fucking COVID. Where do you start? Well for one, fuck COVID. Number Two: When all this COVID shite started, we had real problems in the UK, you know - people dying and shit - nobody knew shit about getting over it, nobody knew shit about managing the virus, it was all stay the fuck home, don't touch anything, don't go anywhere, don't fucking breathe. Then we got better at this shit - it's airborne, so we can all touch stuff again, so masks, so silly rules made up by politicians.… Continue Reading

Motivational shit



Yeah, you’ll notice a lack of motivational shit here.

This is because I am / am not a c*nt; depending on your view point. Yes, this is a #rant, don't like rants... off you fuck to a quiet corner of the interwebs, otherwise read on!

"Kid, life is pain..." A well known quote from a well known Gena Davies film.

Her character is right - life is pain, and the only bargaining chip is time, it is literally the only thing we have, no matter what your Job and who you are - the only thing you’re getting paid for is the minutes of your life, and they’re in pathetically short supply. Trouble is, your function isn’t unique, and you get chucked into a random labour pool where the rate per minute of your life is largely beyond your control- this is largely known as life sucks donkey-balls… Continue Reading

High Functioning Anxiety



At a young age, [read: around 30 years back] I was diagnosed with anxiety - the doc at the time, a general practitioner, gave me some helpful meds, namely Valerian. Valerian supplied in the form of Kalms tends to move my personal perspective back a few feet, so it's like I'm driving my mind, body, and emotions from behind a firewall. That moment in the docs introduced an old-faithful coping mechanism. You will read in other places on the interwebs that there is no cure for anxiety, and I'd have to agree at the moment having an awareness for 30 years.

Awareness is one thing, coping is another, and further awareness and recognition is like the proverbial shaft of sunlight to the core of your being. This article is about recognising high functioning anxiety, and the coping mechanisms I've been unconsciously using for my entire adult life … Continue Reading

All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.



Some of you will recognise that quote from the movie Blade Runner - it's one of the hall mark moments in movie history, something which will never be captured again... which is the point of this article.

At the time of writing, I'm in my late 40s - this means that a metric fuckton of change has occurred in my life. Watching a Bill Bailey recording last night - Bill reminded me of some of the things now largely items of the past - if you're in the right age group for this article, and are scratching your head, then you're probably not British, just chill - some of these are sooo British, they all have a cup of tea and a cucumber sarnie at 4pm on the dot. … Continue Reading

Religious Abuse & John Lennon with his Imagination


The whole world should listen to the song Imagine, and more importantly pay attention. So that's that, or is it?

This is a unusual post for the site, a peek into the inner-Spabbit. So normally I keep my emotions in the strictest of control, set in concrete behind nuclear-grade blast shields - I am the level of calm which is only achieved after been thoroughly broken by life and the universe, multiple times, and then put back together again. So the emotions - they're blocked off, however a small trickle may escape through the tiniest gaps in the shields... those who know me will attest to my continual background leakage of arcane swearing and cursing - that helps. So enter in to the world the genius which was, which is John Lennon and Imagine. Imagine is one of the songs which will open those blast-shields, and let the emotional wreck see the light of day, so read on for a glimpse into the inner Spabbit. … Continue Reading

BMW Mini: Just don’t.


Just fucking don't. These cars are a massive mistake which shouldn't be repeated. Yes this is a rant. Yes, I'm bitter.

I've just exited, stage-Vauxhall, from a toxic 2.5 year relationship with a 2012 Mini Countryman Cooper-S. Don't get me wrong, it was a sexy minx of a turbo-charged car, great looks, fantastic performance when not driving like a pussy... but as with most sexy minx profiled objects in life, it came with a giant slice of super-expensive-psycho-pie.

I have had friends attest to the reliability of BMW based cars, but for me, fucking never again. Beautiful to drive, but will surely turn around and stab you in the heart, just because. So fucking expensive to maintain, and things will go wrong... high pressure fuel pump, coils, temperature sensors, door seals, sils, head-gasket... you fucking name it, that car fucked me with it. Great looking cars too... most of them are an 8+... but seriously, unless you have reached the socio-economic status where you have a large collection of fucks which you deal out with abandon, just don't. … Continue Reading

Bald is the way – do it today!


Middle aged (or any age?) man? Yes? - Beard? Yes? - Fucking be done with it, shave it off and enjoy!

Yes, the Spabbit is now sporting the cue-ball look on top. For me, it came to the point where there was no resistance to the comb when sorting out my hair in mornings, or any other times to be fair. Going back 20 years ago I had biker-hair down to the crack of me arse, coupled with a certain physical condition meant that I was sometimes yelled at by the inebriated in the very complimentary way of "Oi! Meatloaf!". I think those times, and that hair-style may have meant that my fore-head rose to a 12-head, and at the front, in the glare of the naked sun, I may have blinded passing aircraft or at least confused the odd starling. … Continue Reading

Rant: The Spabbit is back & The state of 2021

Disclaimer: This article is largely ranty. If you don't wanna read the rant, off you fuck to a boring corner of the interwebs.

COVID, decline in mental health, and having a bloody busy life has slowed down (read: glacial level) the pace of the Spabbit posts... win some, lose some, the Spabbit is still here, spabbiting up the interwebs. Now for some rants, one of the main topics of this site.

Fucking COVID. Where do you start? Well for one, fuck COVID. Number Two: When all this COVID shite started, we had real problems in the UK, you know - people dying and shit - nobody knew shit about getting over it, nobody knew shit about managing the virus, it was all stay the fuck home, don't touch anything, don't go anywhere, don't fucking breathe. Then we got better at this shit - it's airborne, so we can all touch stuff again, so masks, so silly rules made up by politicians.… Continue Reading

Ageing Kinkster Problems

BDSM SymbolIt’s well known that as a society, we’re becoming more sexually progressive – more and more those people traditionally into their vanilla sex lives are looking to add some spice by trying BDSM, in-fact, it’s almost mainstream these days! Now, my (slightly) twisted mind takes that idea, and thinks immediately (as anyone would, right?)… Continue Reading

Spabbit’s 20 Minute Kip Masala Boom Boom

This curry is a cheat. It's quick, dirty and completely gorgeous, it's in the rough neighbourhood of a tikka-masala taste wise, but with a hell of a lot more kick - thick and creamy in texture but with lots of sauce it should easily see you through a cold winter day or two! If you've got everything to hand in your kitchen, this can be raw to done in around 20 minutes, with perhaps another 10/15 for thickening up the sauce a little more to your liking.

Spabbit’s Samosa-Noods

"WTF?" I hear you say! Yes, this is a straight-outta-spabbit insane recipe - who in their right mind would even imagine cooking noods in a samosa filling?! Spabbit loves Fusion Foods, and this one attempt, love or loathe, these noods taste fantastic :) [I'm thinking at this point, this recipe counts as Fusion-Junk-Food!] … Continue Reading

#Redwheel

Again for you [three] weirdos out there who don't have the current generation's unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as Reddit and YouTube. Well #Redwheel covers both of those bases. Work in Retail? Escaped Retail? Been Mistaken for working somewhere? Dislike entitled wankers? This channel is for you.

Go subscribe to his channel if you haven't already!

[Many thanks to an anonymous colleague who pointed me towards this channel! :)]

Uncle Roger always knows best!

For those of you [like you three wierdos] who don't browse YouTube every day until your eyes bleed, you may not have stumbled across Nigel NG, aka Uncle Roger. This guy is amazing, and has recently produced a video taking Jamie Oliver to bits with his so-called-fried-rice - the results are hilarious. As a reasonable chef myself, I agree with everything Uncle Roger says! #MSGMASSIVE

Go subscribe to his channel if you haven't already!

Nigel NG also has a podcast called Rice to Meet You!