- Around the age of 35, I decided to look for a wife, took me a while, but have mine for keeps.
- I cook only for those I love.
- You can go skiing in a car.
- It is possible to change almost anything in your life, eventually.
- All religion is inherently evil, and not a force for good.
- You can call me “Rev Spabbit”, as I’m an ordained member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (Sardonic, right?)
- Morals don’t, and never have, come from religion
- Learning to cook is one of the most important things you can do.
- Don’t listen to Doctors too readily, always get a second opinion.
- Cats, no society can be civilised without cats * lots (We have 6!).
- You can choose your family, do so carefully.
- Sex. More fun kinky.
- You can sleep handcuffed, quite happily.
- Duty and Loyalty and right up there with breathing.
- Tattoos are fun, I only have one so far.
- Eventually, a computer will do as I tell it to.
- Be prepared to be wrong, admit your mistakes. Be gracious when you’re right.
- Always look at the actual evidence, and to many decimal places. If the evidence proves you wrong, then you’re wrong, deal with it.
- The Scotty Principle saves all.
- The 10,000 hours thing is true, anyone can do anything!
- If you’ve not been broken at least once, you’re not complete as a person.
- Science has the answers, even if it doesn’t yet, it will.
- One man’s magic is another man’s engineering.
- There is/are no god/gods, only delusional humans.
- Make shit count, when you’re dead, that’s it – all you are then are a collection of memories, eventually to fade. There are no second chances when you’re dead.
- Women and children first, anything else, and we’re all doomed.
- I don’t feel the need to follow every law, I think most are optional at best – it’s only illegal if you’re caught, but be prepared to pay the price!
- You have to sleep, so be good and moral where possible.
- Always leave your clothes and weapons where you can find them in the dark.
- Live and Learn, or don’t live at all. Sometimes you just have to say “Fuck it”, dive off the deep end with that quivering feeling at the base of your spine. Done that more than once 😉
- Always try to be objective, and where emotional, make sure you can live with the results of your actions.
- If you’re going to take the path of least resistance, you’re invariably going to settle for less.
- Physical pain and pleasure really are very close to each other.
- If you want to do something, have self respect, at least Google it and try before going begging for help!
- If you’re afraid, it means you’re doing it right. Fear is the complement of courage, the fearless are invariably stupid. A man without fear cannot be courageous.
- Write shit down. I tell you three times, write shit down. Only a matter of time before you forget something important.
- Learn to say “no”, and be rude about it where necessary; the sooner you do so, and mean it, the better your life will become, and the more you’ll be able to support you and yours.
Around a couple of weeks ago, I had a moment – the moment was a realisation that I was hooked on something, and just like any addict, I just couldn’t leave it alone. Now I’m not your typical person in regard to addiction – I can stop and start both alcohol and nicotine on a dime, as the Americans would say. Yup, very true – friends, colleagues and family all call me various names for my ability to go cold turkey and not turn into a raging monster (Then there’s the other side where I start up with no ill effects!).
Anyhow, despite my lack of traditional addiction, in the moment, I realised that Facebook was an unwelcome intruder in my mind, every five minutes whilst watching TV I’d be on the endless scroll quest to get yet more crap. I’m particular in the crap which flows in – for example, I don’t watch adverts on TV, and try to limit my news intake. Yet despite everything there was Facebook – even saying “Facebook” sounds like some kind of dirty word now.
I understand that some aspect, in a vague nebulous way, some long-ago nascent thought said “It’s a great way to keep up with Friends and Family”. It lied. You know the best way to keep with Friends and Family. See them. Call them. Be with them. Try it, you’ll appreciate the fresh yet old-fashioned way of doing things. Be in the moment. There is no spoon!
At first the revulsion was so bad, I turned off my devices and left them in another room. If I was going to go cold-turkey, I was going to do it full-bore. I managed to make that last most of a weekend, and then I had to re-join the connected-world (I work in I.T. and it’s kinda expected that you’re online 24*7). Even now, getting connected to the News and the world still gives me a mental twitch which I can’t shrug off. I’m conversant with the sardonic nature of recording these thoughts and posting them online – it’s like a great big dirty burger of filth, demolished with gusto, coming back with that sick sinking feeling of “What have I done!?”.
Can I escape Facebook completely? No. The insidious Facebook has managed to weave itself into minds and hearts like some kind of meme-virus. The insidious Facebook had managed to integrate into modern society, it’s truly the electronic equivalent of a symbiote. Instead of a community notice board for my area, there is a Facebook Group. Instead of a buy and sell board, there is a Facebook Buy & Sell Group. Instead of phoning up the local authority, they’re on Facebook, posting official notifications for the masses to digest. You get the picture – Facebook has a Face-Tentacle in everything everywhere.
Where am I left now? In Face-Limbo.
This is my spin on the Sweet Waffle Recipe, it has no sugar, instead relying on Splenda (Sucralose) to provide the sweet crispy kick that is expected and welcome with sweet Waffles!
- 250g Plain Flour
- 2 Heaped tsp Baking Powder
- 10 Heaped tsp Splenda
- 1 flat tsp Salt
- 1/2 flat tsp Cinnamon Powder
- 2 Eggs
- 30 ml Vegetable Oil
- 3 tsp Vanilla Essence
- 475 ml Milk
You’ll also need some oil spray to lubricate the Waffle Maker.
All ingredients are approximate measures only, as anyone experienced knows 🙂
Turn on the Waffle Maker.
Combine the wet ingredients together, whisk well to ensure they’re well combined, and the oil won’t separate!
Combine the dry ingredients together, mix well to ensure even distribution of the Baking Powder, Splenda, Salt & Cinnamon.
Pour the Wet ingredients into the dry, and whisk for a few minutes. Experience will tell you when you’ve achieved the correct consistency – I’d describe it as “flowing slowly from a spoon”. Air bubbles are a must – without the bubbles it will be a Waffle of Fail.
Spray your now hot and good to cook Waffle Maker with some of the spray-oil (Yes, even if your maker is non-stick), ensure that both cooking surfaces receive a coating of oil. For UK readers, it’s that 1 Cal pump spray stuff. For the hippies, you can even use spray coconut oil 😉
Pour in some mixture. Keep in mind that this mixture will expand to double its original size. Pour in enough to just cover the bottom plate until you can’t see any of the raised bits. Slowly close the lid. Some Waffle Makers will have instructions not to clip the lid closed, some will say clip closed, read the manual (RTFM!).
Generally speaking, when in the initial cooking phase, there will be quite a bit of water vapour escaping the Waffle Maker, moving into the “crisping” stage of cooking, the water vapour will decrease to nothing.
When done, remove and serve with whatever floats your boat! Now, I’m a marmalade addict, so mine are usually with lashings of butter and blobs of marmalade! These waffles go equally well with some strawberries and cream. Go Wild!
It wasn’t my intention to make Waffles, just toasted sarnies, but my purchase (As below) changed all that… and they’re a bit of an American Thing, and me being a Brit, I’ve always backed away from the American recipes. Now before anyone jumps on this and says “Not American in invention”, which is true, mine are inspired by the American recipes. If you wanna know more about Waffles (Other than consuming the wee buggers), go Google it (JFGI) – you’ll find the closest oldest incarnation is almost certainly European in origin…
With the Breville machine I bought, when the mixture has been poured in, I just gently close the lid – I don’t clip it closed, then after about 4 minutes of cooking, I squeeze the handle until almost clipped, holding it for around 20 seconds and continuing to cook for around 4 minutes afterwards – this is to ensure that the final waffles aren’t wedge shaped. I know traditional / dedicated Waffle Makers won’t suffer from this issue and you’ll be able to close the lid.
I purchased my Waffle Maker from Amazon, it’s the Breville VST041 Deep Fill Sandwich Toaster, Stainless Steel – Silver. Sandwich Toaster I hear you cry in abandon… But fear not – it has changeable plates to turn it in to a Waffle Maker – 2 for 1!
Simple article: How dare these bastards protect child abusers.
One might be suggesting that these scum-vermin burn in the fires of their self created hell. You got it folks, personally as a victim of abuse at the hands of the catholic church this hits close to home, they promote abuse, they protect abusers, here in black and white from the Guardian. How can the members of the catholic cult claim to have any morals? If you, as a normal, moral human found out that a club you belonged to promoted and covered up child abuse, would you A) Report them to the authorities, B) Kick shit out of them, or C) LEAVE THE CLUB… Note none of the options in the previous sentence are STAY IN THE CLUB AND PROTECT THE ABUSERS… Just what is wrong with them!!!
Yes, this is a rant. No, staying a member of an organisation which protects abusers isn’t the same as being an abuser, for the individual to be protecting an abuser on a personal basis – but it is being complicit, supporting those abusers and those who protect the abusers. It’s not the same as living in a country with a hideous human rights record where you can’t leave – membership of a cult is a choice, especially when you’re informed of the abusive actions of said cult.
I was listening to the Jeremy Vine show on BBC Radio 2, the subject matter, centred around “the right to take offense” struck a chord with me. In the programme, the author Claire Fox described her experiences with young adults which inspired her to write the book, “I Find That Offensive“.
I agree 100% with everything she says in the book, and I fear for the future of the society which allows, and to a lesser extent encourages this behaviour among the young.
It’s a very interesting read, which I would strongly recommend to any thinking and reasoning adult – and if you have the opportunity to change the mind of a young person to be more open and less offended, then please enable that most vital skill set whenever, and wherever you can; survival of the race by decreasing future offended-wars is a noble quest. (I’m also of the opinion this ties in with a secular or atheist point of view, I strongly suspect the religious mind isn’t capable of this, not truly…)
This is where Blasphemy started, and we all know how fucking evil that shit is – people have been killing and torturing other people throughout the ages in the name of that fucker, and the worst thing, it still goes on today – however it now seems that the youth of today is intent on broadening this to other subjects as well… Claire Fox describes a talk regarding a footballer, convicted of rape, discussing whether or not he should resume his career, where any other points of view than further, and more extreme methods of punishment were shouted down, and effectively banned by the court of “I’m offended” – it’s a sad state of affairs when our young adults are so mentally closeted they can’t even hear the opinion of others.
It’s my personal opinion that they’ve simply had it too easy, they don’t know what real life is actually like, they’ve never struggled for crusts of bread, they’ve never been broken, never hit rock bottom and then fallen some more – IF you’ve been unfortunate (Or should I say fortunate?) enough to have been that broken, you know, you just fucking know that life isn’t that simple. The act of being broken – it makes you – when coming out the other side, you have a fresh appreciation of what actually matters, and you know, just being fucking offended simply doesn’t live in the same universe as real life.
Here are a couple of quotes of mine, and I sincerely hope they offend someone somewhere…
“Offended? – Good. Makes you feel alive. Everyone has the right to be offended, cause offence and be told to fuck off, quite equally. Anyone who thinks anything else is clearly fucking insane.”
“Anyone who is offended merely by words not the context / intent of the words is truly stupid.
Stupidity is the only universal crime.
Darwin for the win.”
Before we begin, I will say that I love OneDrive.
Towards the end of last year I was getting a little tired of Google Drive (Which is now called something else… Baby, I just dont’t care), so decided to give OneDrive another go. A long time ago OneDrive was pure shite, wouldn’t even trust it with a backup of a single meme – WoW – how wrong was I – I tried it again and it was the unicorn of the file storage solution I’d been looking for.
To make OneDrive useful, like all useful things in life involves payment – it’s a small payment, and you get the full, industry standard power of Microsoft Office with it (Or is it the other way around, you tell me 😉 ) – either way £6 per month won’t break the bank in most cases, and for 1 TB of online storage, it’s great.
One drive has the best features:
- Great Interface
- Fire and forget installation in most cases
- Granular file and folder selection
- Works well with MS Office
- Business and Personal versions
- Online sharing, expiring links and password included
- Click on the icon and it tells you what it’s doing
- Brilliant online views, especially for your images
- Ransomware protection
- 30 Day File-Restore (Like previous versions)
Anyhow, the above said, Microsoft have been doing some fuckery with OneDrive recently, and I feel a public duty to undo it! One of the best features of OneDrive was the ‘fire and forget’ install, but Microsoft had to fiddle with it!
Until recently, I was happily using OneDrive to download and sync my files across multiple devices, then all of a sudden it stopped, and every time I tried to access one of the newer files, I was faced with a ‘xxxx program is downloading this file in OneDrive’… ‘fucking odd’ I think! But then… then the worst happens, you grab your device and run, knowing that your files have all been downloaded in the background, and you’ll have them offline.
W R O N G.
In one of the latest Windows updates, a ‘feature’ has been made live, in full on stealth mode I might add. The ‘feature’ is ‘Save space and download files as you use them’, which means that none of the newer files will be background synchronised between devices, and when said devices are later offline, you’ll be screwed. BAD Microsoft! There is however an easy way to disable this ‘feature’ and restore the full glory to OneDrive.
- Click on your OneDrive icon (Note it tells you what’s it’s doing / done!)
- Select Settings
- Go to the Settings Tab
- UNTICK FILES ON DEMAND
- Don’t forget to click on OK.
Once the above is done, you’ll find that OneDrive goes off and catches up, downloading all the stuff you probably thought it had done already.
… And they all lived happily ever after…
Whilst I’ve not always backed Jeremy Corbyn, I’ve come to respect his views and see through the media campaign to smear his character. Many of the published claims about Jeremy have been proven false, and are very distorted from actual reality – for example he has never explicitly stated that he will not defend the country, or that he supports the IRA; in fact, just the opposite. Just because he wants to understand the other side of the equation, doesn’t imply consent or support for that side.
He has integrity, more so than is demonstrated by the majority of his competitors, or by most people. His views also aren’t distorted by the blight on Humanity – religion, yes it’s widely known he is atheist; electing a leader who doesn’t talk to invisible friends is a good thing.
Anyhow, enough of the man, and more about the policies of the party:
Nationalisation: The UK has been totally ripped off by the sell off of public assets and services to the private sector, which to add insult to injury, is often compounded by the fact that said services, now in private hands and delivering profits to private shareholders, are subsidised by the tax payer… let me get this straight – a for profit private company buys services / assets from the government / the tax payer, the services often go downhill, and then we pay yet more for a worse service? Time to draw a line, and bring them back to public ownership – That is what Labour will do if brought back in. #votelabour2017
Defence: Labour will keep Trident, and will take the appropriate precautions to ensure defence of the realm. They’re not however tying to break life as we know it, such as the Conservatives trying to break Internet encryption, and turn our Internet access into that of China!
Tax: Fair tax policies, including a pledge to bring VAT down again – something which never should have gone up!
Education: Do away with tuition fees – Education for the masses, tax payer funded, is a must – otherwise how else are we going to make the most of our young people? Saddling them with what almost amounts to mortgage payments off the bat just isn’t right!
Costed budget: The Labour budget has been fully costed, and made public. Conservative budget – just a vague policy somewhere in the grey.
Immigration: A sensible policy of controlled immigration – not a set of wildly out of whack figures which simply aren’t achievable or economically viable.
Police: Unlike the person leading the Conservative Party, who has somehow been forgiven for the gross errors which have seen 20,000 police and 35,000 military cuts; Labour will immediately try to correct the monumental error by immediately bringing back 10,000 police officers. Who can say if one of the 20,000 police cut by May wouldn’t have been in the right place at the right time to stop at least one of the recent terrorist attacks?
Not insulting: Not once has Jeremy or the Labour Party come up with ‘Magic Money Tree’ or other such unfounded insults to their competition – just the opposite, they’ve simply stuck by their fully costed and publicly available budget & manifesto.
With my previous article on How to remove the metadata title from MKV files I discussed methods for using a simple batch file to process a folder, removing metadata from individual files, plus an option to do this recursively; this got me thinking how great it would be to add that to the right-click menu for Windows folders.
As it turns out, it’s really easy, and using the example of recursively processing all MKV files in a folder structure, this is how…
Save the following to a file called MKVCleanup.bat, place this in your Windows folder (Usually c:\windows). You can download a copy by right-clicking here, and selecting “Save As”.
for /r %%i in (*.mkv) do (
echo processing "%%i"
"C:\Program Files\MKVToolNix\mkvpropedit.exe" "%%i" -d title
The next step, actually adding the right-click command is a registry addition; save the following text into a file on your desktop called MKVCleanup.reg, then right-click on it, selecting “Merge”. You can download a copy by right-clicking here, and selecting “Save As”, you’ll still need to right click on it, selecting merge. This makes an entry in HKEY_CLASSES_ROOT\Directory\shell – it just includes a title, and one command which points to the batch file.
It takes advantage that the environment automatically starts in parent of the folder indicated by your right click, and passes the target folder as a command line parameter.
Windows Registry Editor Version 5.00
That’s it, no reboot required, as soon as you’re done, you’ll have a new & shiny right click option in Windows Explorer for folders called “MKVCleanup” – simples 🙂
Not all files are equal – in the case of regular files, for example .jpg and .mp4 files, you can simply right click in Windows, select Properties, and happily click away at the Details Tab, then “Remove Properties and Personal Information” – provided you have the right permissions, it’ll all work fine. MKV files will give you a permissions error, which is a lie, a dirty stinking filthy lie – don’t believe the lie.
Windows just doesn’t know how to deal with an MKV file title.
You need a 3rd party tool, and a small amount of knowledge.
Then you need to understand how to use the command line.
The basic command you need is: “C:\Program Files\MKVToolNix\mkvpropedit.exe” *mkv file name* -d title
When run, it will simply empty the metadata title from the file, no fuss, and it’ll only take a second.
Update: A number of people have asked me how to automate this to make it recursive, i.e. start at the top of a specified directory (Folder), and go through all sub-directories, processing all files.
This is how:
for /r %%i in (*.mkv) do (
echo processing "%%i"
"C:\Program Files\MKVToolNix\mkvpropedit.exe" "%%i" -d title
The For loop goes through every file in the folder structure (Given the *.mkv spec), and executes the mkvpropedit command on every file found in the list. Simples.
Feel free to nick the code above, and use it for your own purposes, but remember to change the relevant path names to those on your own system.
If you would like to know more about batch files, and how they (Plus the command line) work in Windows, please visit the excellent Wikibook: Windows Batch Scripting which should get you started, or go Google it 🙂
Batch scripting (Or otherwise known as Batch Files) enable simple yet powerful processing of almost anything in the DOS or Windows environments, however the batch-language is largely superseded by the more powerful Windows Powershell; but in my opinion it is still very much a valid and ultimately useful tool, for it’s ease of use and simplicity.
This article (Click here) shows you how to add this to the right click context menu in Windows – even easier!”
These are little tips I’ve picked up over time when using my iPhone, features that are, in some cases, just not publicised during the iOS upgrade & launch. It’s almost like they don’t want you to know 😉
Either way, it’s the little things which make iOS superior to Apple’s competitors, and we should all know about them!
For this one, your device needs to be powered on and unlocked.
Simply press your power button until the power slider appears, then press and hold the Home Button until the screen returns to normal.
This has the effect of dumping some of the cached memory and freeing up a chunk of working-memory for applications to use. If your device is performing poorly, this is a quick alternative to a complete reboot of your device, which can typically take a few minutes, and interrupt your work.
Save power by turning off AirDrop, whilst keeping Bluetooth on.
Bluetooth on an iPhone / iPad isn’t a bad thing, and you can keep it on permanently without using too much power – the only instance where this uses a ton of battery charge is when you leave on AirDrop. Simply turning off AirDrop will enable you to just leave Bluetooth on, without using all that precious power – this is useful, for example, for people who use their phone in and out of the car all day.
To turn off AirDrop, just swipe up from the bottom of the screen to reveal the control-centre, then tap until it’s off.
Did you know, if you’ve closed a web page in Safari on your iPad / iPhone, you can simply and easily re-open it?
Just hit the button for a new tab, and when the “+” symbol is displayed, press and hold it. This will reveal all of your recently closed tabs, from where you can simply open them back up!
If you’re anything like myself in this instance, the answer will be yes! The good news is that Apple have provided a couple of things to make this better. Firstly, you can turn off that annoying scrolling of the background, and secondly you can make all the text bold.
Simply hit Settings > General > Accessibility, scroll down a little, turn on Bold Text, then Reduce Motion. This will give you an easier to look at and read home screen.
Ad-blockers are essential when browsing the web these days, I never venture on to the web without one enabled, however they can cause severe problems with some sites.
Rather than diving into the settings, and turning off the ad-blockers, then reloading the page, … and turning them back on again later on, did you know you can simply and easily reload the page without the ad-blocker?
Easy to do – simply press and hold on the re-load symbol in the address / search bar at the top of safari, this will pop up a menu, which will allow you to either reload the page without ad-blockers, or request the desktop version of the site (As opposed to the mobile version, for example).
If the answer to either of the two questions is yes, I have some good news for you!
When you’ve accidentally flicked the switch on your phone to put it into silent mode, and it’s just lying there, vibrating, but you can’t feel it… You can turn the camera’s flash on for the alert! This is also useful in especially noisy environments, and you’ll see it alert, giving you another chance to notice your phone is demanding attention.
To access this feature, select Settings > General > Accessibility > Scroll down to the Hearing section, turn on LED Flash for Alerts.
In the same section as mentioned, you’ll also notice Phone Noise Cancellation – this is absolutely fantastic – this feature, almost magically reduces the background noise, making those all important calls much easier to hear.
One of the most used physical features of the iPhone and iPad is the home button, which also doubles as the fingerprint scanner in later versions of the devices. This button has been known to fail with excessive use, this problem has been made worse recently as it’s used to wake-up, and unlock you phone in the later instances of iOS. There is a new setting you can enable to reduce the usage of the button.
For example, where you wake your phone with the home button, then want to unlock via a fingerprint, you have to press the button a second time – enabling this function will allow you to simply rest your finger / thumb there and unlock without actually pressing the button a second time. You can save even more button presses on this one, if you wake your phone with the power button instead.
To enable the function select Settings > General > Accessibility > scroll down to Home Button, and select this. Inside the Home Button select Rest Finger to Open.
This function also allows you to use the device almost silently, for example if your partner is sleeping next to you, and you’re catching up on Facebook in bed 😉
This is concerning an extremely troubling phishing attack vector for the Firefox browser (Also impacts Chrome), which could leave you wide open to handing over login details to virtually any site, yes even those sites with the little green padlock (Which is supposed to be a sign of security).
The attack works by taking advantage of the unicode feature to display a false web address in tbe address bar, complete with working SSL certification. I won’t go in to further detail here, however you can read about it from the Wordfence Blog Entry, complete with an in-depth explanation.
The fix, for Firefox, is to set the variable network.IDN_show_punycode in Firefox about:config to True – setting this will reveal the real web address, instead of the phishing version for any domain.
The moral of this is not to hide the address bar and other bits of the browser which are slightly technical – this is a problem with technology which is wider than this specific example – programmers hide things, supposedly to make the experience more user-friendly – well, the world isn’t user friendly, and users should damn-well learn to deal with it!
Have a GMail / Google Mail account? Yes – Good. No – Go get one.
You register for gmail, and have a gmail address, for example firstname.lastname@example.org, but did you know that you can actually have as many as you like?
Now you say, “Why would I want more than one address?”. Well, say you don’t like spam, and you register for a website, one which gets hacked, or plain plays dirty and gives that address out – you can then easily filter anything to that address to the bin. The problem is that it’s hard to do when you only have one address, hence the need for multiple addresses. Previously this was one of the bonuses available to domain name owners, or geeks with a million e-mail accounts, but now this can be yours for a few extra key presses with any GMail account.
Simply add dots in your e-mail address, or a + symbol, followed by numbers or letters before the @gmail.com part of the address.
So if your address was email@example.com, you could automatically just use:
firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com, firstname.lastname@example.org
You’d get all of the mails, the same as if you’d just used email@example.com – get it?
When you register for websites, just use firstname.lastname@example.org, then if they spam you, you can simply autofilter anything to that address into the bin. Simples.
As a side-note – this will also enhance security as often hacked account details are circulated, now as this almost always done via an automated process, a unique e-mail address for a site is by definition going to make the job of the “hacker” more difficult when using an automated process.
Further along the security lines, often phishing e-mails, for example claiming to be from your bank, are spammed at random e-mail accounts. Say you’d used your email@example.com address with your bank, it’d be quiet hard to tell if it was legit – but (Not 100% foolproof, but goes a long way!), if you’d used firstname.lastname@example.org, it’d go a long way to telling you if the mail was genuine or not.
Remember though, in general – if you get what you think may be a dodgy e-mail from a financial institution, CALL them on their publicly known numbers and verify it – BEFORE you click on links!
These Bhajis are super easy & quick to make, using little ingredients, and are fantastic when served with a little salad, and Spabbit’s Mint Sauce.
Sometimes I’ll whip up a batch as a quick spicy snack – so easy and cheap to do – I’ll never buy them from a takeaway again!
- Oil for frying
- 2 Onions
- 80g Gram Flour
- 2 tsp Tandoori Masala
- 1/2 tsp Hot Chilli powder
- 1/2 tsp Cayenne pepper
- 1/2 tsp Mustard powder
- 1 tsp Paprika
- 1 tsp Cumin
- Splash Lemon Juice
- 50 ml Water
Heat the oil to maximum temperature, either in a deep pan, or in a fryer.
Whilst the oil is heating up, chop the onions into whatever size lumps you like, think smallish chunks or slices. In a large mixing bowl, mix together all the other ingredients bar the water.
Throw in the chunks of onion, and ensure they’re thoroughly coated. Gradually add the water and mix, eventually when mixed well and all the water has been added, the lumps should be sticking together with a gooey batter coating.
Take a tea-spoon at a time of the mixture and drop in to the hot oil. Make sure the oil is deep enough for the bhajis to float around during cooking. Stir around / flip over during cooking to ensure they’re all cooked evenly. Cook for around 3 minutes, or longer depending on the size. Take out and drain on paper-towel.